


Against All Demons

by Hermoanie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Hermione Granger, Canon Divergence - Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Forgiveness, Multi, Rebellion, Ron Weasley Bashing, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, underage tag is just because of brief mention in the setting of war crimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27064870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermoanie/pseuds/Hermoanie
Summary: Voldemort has won.  Hermione and a small group of students have formed a resistance that struggles to fight against the new regime while Severus Snape faces his demons in the lap of luxury.  After Hermione and Snape are violently brought together by Voldemort they are forced to work together to bring an end to the tyranny.  Eventual SSHG.Warning this is a very dark story though will have HEA. Please mind the trigger warnings.
Relationships: Hannah Abbott/Parvati Patil, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood/George Weasley, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Susan Bones/Neville Longbottom
Comments: 22
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is almost completed. I will be trying to update on a weekly basis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This is the end  
> Beautiful friend  
> This is the end   
> My only friend
> 
> The end  
> Of our elaborate plans  
> The end  
> Of everything that stands  
> The end  
> No safety or surprise  
> The end   
> I’ll never look into your eyes   
> Again"
> 
> "The End" by The Doors

The battle raged outside the Shrieking Shack, its thin wooden walls did little to mute the screams.Harry, Ron and Hermione tried to catch their breath as they quietly crept up to spy on the two wizards in the next room.Harry came to an abrupt stop and gestured at them not to move.Hermione could barely see through the crack in the wooden door but froze in fear at the scene unfolding in front of them, her heart beating wildly in her chest.Severus Snape knelt in front of Voldemort, his head bowed.“My Lord, what do you desire?” Voldemort did not respond immediately, seemingly lost in thought as he idly fingered his wand.Finally he spoke softly.

“All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here,” said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform for its rightful owner….and I think I have the answer. The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master.The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner.You killed Albus Dumbledore.While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine. I regret it.”Voldemort said coldly.“Nagini kill.” 

The snake fell upon Snape and savaged his neck before slithering off to follow its master, leaving the room silent except for Snape’s rasping breath.Hermione joined Harry and Ron as they crept toward the fallen professor.

“Take my memories,”he gasped.Harry gathered the silvery tears in the vial Hermione had conjured up and, memories in hand, Harry and Ron ran off toward Dumbledore’s old office.Hermione turned to follow but she couldn’t, too distracted at the horrific sight in front of her.Taking a deep breath, she took a small step toward him.She hesitated for a moment, petrified, physically unable to take another step forward as she looked down at him, lying helpless on the floor.Despite his bloody weakened state, he still managed to intimidate her. Gritting her teeth, she closed the gap between them and was overwhelmed with the rusty metallic smell of blood. 

Hermione kneeled down, ignoring the pain in her knees as the broken glass buried into her skin.Panic rose in her chest as she took in the scene in front of her.His black eyes shone dully back at her, only a hint of life still flickering within.Snape was paler than she had ever seen; the gaping crimson wound on his neck seemed to be the only color left.The only sound she could hear was the unnaturally loud pounding of her own heart, broken only by his harsh gurgling gasps for air that echoed in the small room.

Hermione sprung into action.Her left hand tried in vain to staunch the bleeding from his neck as her right hand desperately dug in her beaded bag for her emergency potions.Sighing in relief as her fingertips gripped one of the familiar bottles, she quickly pulled it out.She tipped the blood replenishing potion into his mouth slowly, mindful of his fragile state as he struggled to swallow.A small amount of the scarlet solution dribbled out of his slack mouth.Hermione gently massaged his throat, ignoring the tacky blood sticking to her hands.“C’mon you bastard, don’t give up now,”she muttered under her breath. 

After a few agonizing seconds, he swallowed weakly.Very slowly she poured the rest of the potion into his open mouth. Hermione then pulled out another two healing potions and fed them to him as well.His eyes were becoming more focused now and he grunted slightly, trying to move his hand to his robe pocket.Understanding, Hermione rifled through his robes until she found two unmarked potions.One appeared to be another blood replenishing potion which she immediately gave to him but the other was an unmarked yellowish liquid that she didn’t recognize.She hesitated.She didn’t want to give him something that would make his condition worse.However, he grunted again and attempted to move his bloodied arm to take the potion.Tentatively, Hermione poured the unknown potion into his open mouth and Snape nodded his head minimally, affirming her choice. His breathing became less harsh and he pinked up just a little as the seconds ticked by.As seconds turned into minutes, Hermione remained kneeling in between the legs of his beaten body, just watching him breath.He stirred and Hermione looked up, locking eyes with Severus Snape.Unable to turn away from the traitor, the murderer, she remained motionless as his jet black pupils bore into hers.

“Go, before you get caught,” his voice was nothing but a harsh whisper, though his gaze seemed almost concerned. 

Hermione bit her lip.“Will you be alright? I mean..”She trailed off to survey his damages.“Your neck still needs healing.”

“Go,” Snape repeated as he struggled to sit up against the blood spattered wall. Hermione ignored him as she pulled a vial of Essence of Dittany from her beaded bag.She silently applied it to his neck, inwardly amazed that Snape didn’t even flinch as his tissue sizzled at the contact.As she withdrew her hand, he abruptly raised his arm and caught her by the wrist.Hermione inhaled sharply as Snape pulled her toward him. In an instant, her face was next to his and the world seemed to tilt on its’ axis.His warm breath tickled her ear. “We have to live without sympathy, don’t we?That’s impossible of course.We act it to one other, all this hardness.But,” he stopped and turned her face toward him again with his free hand.He silently raised one eyebrow and an unexplainable surge of energy ran through her body.Hermione suspected he was trying to tell her something but the cynical side of her wondered if that was only her false hopes. 

“Now go.”Snape said, roughly releasing her wrist.Hermione backed away from him, confused.She took a final look at him, as he winced before trying to lift himself off the dirty floor.She then sprinted as fast as she could toward the battle, running away from him.

The sounds of chaos intensified as she approached Hogwarts.The screams were deafening.Hermione stared at the battlefield, overwhelmed by the devastation.Everywhere she looked were the bodies of her friends, her professors interspersed with far too few fallen Death Eaters.Hermione stood petrified in terror, clutching her wand so tightly her knuckles turned white, as the mayhem swirled around her.Her heart thudded in her chest, the rush of blood pumping through her veins echoing in her ears, drowning out the surrounding noise.Hermione took a deep breath and gripped her wand tighter still, preparing to enter the fight.She had only taken a few steps and had yet to draw any attention to herself when Voldemort’s acrid voice boomed over the field of destruction.

“Harry Potter is dead!”The fighting stopped as both sides turned their gaze toward Voldemort’s voice.The Dark Lord stood on a grotesque platform of dead bodies and leered with triumph at the crowd before turning slightly and gesturing at the ghastly parade making its way from the Forbidden Forest.Hermione’s heart cracked at the sight of Harry cradled in Hagrid’s arms.The tears streaming down Hagrid’s face, dripping unopposed onto Harry’s beaten face.“Put him down in front of his conquerer, you overgrown oaf,”Voldemort demanded.The crowd of Death Eaters behind him laughed mockingly as Hagrid gently placed Harry’s body on the ground. Voldemort kicked the lifeless body and laughed, a hollow, vicious sound.“Did you really think I could be defeated by a child?”Letting out a howl of fury, Hagrid tried to swing through his tears at Voldemort.The Dark Lord didn’t even flinch as he cast a slicing hex which neatly beheaded the gentle giant.Hermione gasped in shock at the sight as her hot tears continued to sting her eyes.

Voldemort causally kicked Hagrid’s head to the side and wiped the spattered blood from his eyes before he continued his speech.However, freckles of dark red blood still remained scattered on his unnaturally pale face.His haphazard attempt to clean his eyes had only resulted in smearing it, creating the illusion that he had been crying blood.“We have cowed too long to the worthless Muggles and allowed the dirty Mudbloods to contaminate our bloodlines.It is time for a new Wizarding era, where we reign supreme.Instead of hiding from muggles, we will make them bow down and recognize our superiority.It’s disgusting that we currently treat these animals as equals.Certainly there are too many of them running around but once we cull the herd, Muggles can be useful to serve our needs.Don’t you agree?”Voldemort asked with an evil grin.Demented laugher followed.Once the cackling had died down, the Dark Lord spoke again.“I will take the ashes created from our struggle and create a brand new, better, Wizarding World.My faithful followers will reap the rewards of our victory.And those who opposed me will suffer the consequences.”He flicked his wand at the broken body of Harry and raised him off the ground, his head lolling about as he spun him around for all to see. 

“This is what happens to those who think they can challenge the Dark Lord.”Booming laughter reverberated in Hermione’s ears as Voldemort vanished Harry’s clothing and proceeded to mutilate his dead body, slicing deep cuts with his wand, leaving his extremities hanging on only be threads of muscle and bone.All of a sudden, an anguished cry interrupted the horrific scene.Ginny Weasley had pushed herself through the crowd and stood defiantly in front of Voldemort, wand raised.She looked like an avenging demon, with her fiery red hair glowing in the light of the surrounding fires and her eyes full of righteous anger. 

Voldemort looked down at her from his makeshift perch on top of his fallen enemies, bemused.“My little blood traitor.Despite your youthful follies and associations,” his lip curled with those words in disgust, “I am willing to forgive you.See what a charitable ruler I am.Willing to overlook your treasonous acts.There is no reason to spill anymore magical blood today.Accept me as your ruler and your life will be good.Your uncontaminated magical blood will be very useful in creating a new generation of pure Wizards and Witches.”

“I will never bow to you.You represent all that is wrong with the Wizarding World.You’re nothing but an evil bully who gets his kicks beating up those who are weaker than you,” Ginny screamed as tears flowed down her face. 

Voldemort’s eyes glinted sharply with anger and he let out an exaggerated sigh.“Let no one say I am not merciful to to those who possess pure blood.”He tilted his head contemplatively in thought, twirling his wand.“But I must be obeyed and all that oppose me will be crushed.”He stared back at Ginny who was still standing in front of him insubordinately, her wand raised.Hermione could see the faint tremor of her wand but amazingly Ginny maintained her gaze.The crowd watched with bated breath and time seemed to slow as Ginny went on the attack.Her wand raised but her spell had yet to even cross her lips when suddenly, she flew back violently into a crumbled wall which had once supported the giant doors into Hogwarts but was now no more than a tall mound of rubble.A loud thunk echoed through the battlefield and Ginny lay unmoving at the base of the fallen stones.

The Dark Lord cackled manically.“Let that be a lesson to all that resist me.”He flicked his wand and Ginny’s dead body joined Harry’s suspended in the air.Still laughing, Voldemort set the two lovers on fire.“Together, even in death.How romantic,”Voldemort said, his voice oozing with sarcasm. 

Voldemort continued to wax on about the superiority of Wizards and the abuse he intended to heap upon those who had opposed him.However, Hermione couldn’t stop staring at the burning fire.Her vision almost blinded by the glow representing all that was left of two of her closest friends. She knew she had to run, she had to move but her feet seemed rooted to the ground. 

Hermione jumped in shock as she felt a light hand on her shoulder.She whipped her wand around and found it at the throat of Dean Thomas.Dean’s face was almost obscured with blood and dirt, an open wound on his forehead still slowly leaking bright red blood down the left side of his face.Her frightened eyes met his and he quickly put his finger to his mouth to ensure her silence.Hermione nodded in response.She found that her feet were finally working again as Dean quietly led Hermione to a group of students hiding behind the Whomping Willow. Though now the proud tree was no more than a large stump, with only remnants of smothering branches littered on the ground.The ragtag group of students huddled together behind the inadequate shelter included Seamus, Parvati, George, Ron, Luna and Neville.Hermione slipped next to Ron, grasping for his hand for comfort.Ron’s sweaty hand enclosed hers but Hermione felt little consolation.Voldemort’s voice continued to echo through the battlefield, punctuated by the vicious cackles of the Death Eaters at his plans for this new world.A new world that Hermione had no part in. 

Neville cleared this throat and all eyes immediately looked to him for guidance.A errant thought crossed Hermione’s brain as recalled Neville in his younger years, he was no longer the scared little boy she used to help in potions but the unquestionable leader of the school rebellion. He looked at the group, shaken but defiant.“We need to get out of here before they round us all up.”Everyone was quick to agree though Parvati was devastated to leave her twin.Luna gently reasoned with Parvati.“We can’t stay here.I know you don’t want to leave her, but she would want you to be safe.”Parvati mouth trembled and she continued to sob silently, tears streaming down her face but she dipped her head in consent. 

“Where should we go?George asked hesitantly.

Hermione responded with more conviction than she currently felt.“Somewhere far away from the Wizarding World.A Muggle place where no one will think to look for us. Somewhere safe, for now.

A pregnant pause ensued as everyone tried to think of the best Muggle place to hide away. 

Hermione had been about to suggest a neighborhood she had once visited in northeast England with her parents when Dean suddenly spoke up. 

“There’s a place near where my parents used to visit every summer that should be far enough away.The Isle of Skye.We used to stay in a campsite outside of Portree that is secluded enough that we shouldn’t draw any unwanted attention.” Dean looked toward Hermione and Neville for their approval. 

“Sounds good, anyone object?”Neville said briskly. No one said anything so Neville grabbed Dean and placed him in the middle of their little circle.“Everyone with hands on Dean.Dean, on the count of three Apparate to this place.Everybody else, concentrate on Apparating with Dean and letting him take you there.One, two.”Hermione took one last look at the remains of Hogwarts.Her home for six years of her life, now just smoldering ruins covered with the dead.“Three.”There was a pulling at her navel, a crack of noise and the group disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be including one or two songs at the end of each chapter that help set the tone. Sometimes it will be the song quoted at the beginning of the chapter though sometimes not. :)
> 
> "The End" by The Doors


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no monsters under your bed my dear  
> So go to sleep and have no fear.  
> There are no monsters under your bed  
> They live in the world instead  
> \- Anonymous 
> 
> Hell is empty and all the devils are here.  
> -William Shakespeare.
> 
> Trigger warnings: Contains scenes of graphic violence, rape and mention of underage rape.

Everything ached.Snape’s first coherent thought was that he couldn’t possibly be dead because he had always assumed being dead didn’t hurt this much.There was a searing pain behind his eyes and his neck felt as if someone had taken a cheese grater to it.Snape’s thoughts were fuzzy as he tried to process how he had ended up on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.He opened his eyes to assess the situation but quickly closed them again.The room was spinning and a wave of nausea sweep over him.Unfortunately, closing his eyes did nothing to quell the sickness and his eyes snapped open again as he dry heaved on the floor.Groaning, he curled up in a ball on the floor and tried again to remember the events that had transpired.Flashes of sharp teeth pierced his memory, his neck burning in response as the memories began to return.A rush of fear gripped his heart as he remembered Voldemort’s cold stare, ordering Nagini to attack him.He had never presumed that he would outlive the war, but he had expected to be killed for being discovered a spy, not in some misguided attempt to take possession of some legendary wand. He snorted, imaging the Dark Lord’s disappointment when he discovered he had attempted to kill the wrong wizard but quickly regretted it as his movement reawakened his screaming nerves. 

He had been so sure he was going to die as Nagin’s fangs ripped open his neck and once he gave his memories to Potter, he had accepted that.It would have been nice to be certain that the Dark Lord was defeated but he had played his role well and he had done his part.He was free to die without the crushing guilt that had been suffocating him all these years.Finally free to let go of Dumbledore’s orders and free to let go of Lily.He had never been able to imagine a life after the war anyway.He had worn his constructed persona for so long, he wasn’t even sure if he even existed under his mask.Maybe the evil, condescending greasy git of his creation had truly become him. 

He had been ready to die but of course, Snape thought with contempt, Little Miss Know-It-All couldn’t even let him die in peace.He may have been content to bleed out on the floor but when Hermione came to his aid, his survival instincts had kicked in.He had guided her in the right direction to his antivenin serum that he had always carried on him since the near fatal attack on Mr. Weasley so many months ago.He was baffled, however, by the fact that she had wanted to help him at all.He represented the greatest evil of the Wizarding World after the Dark Lord himself but for some reason she had been determined to save his life.Looking into her dark brown eyes, a tiny glimmer of hope flickered in his heart and for a second, he wanted to tell her everything.To confess his sins like a dying man to a priest, in the hopes that one person in the world would at least know how hard he had worked to cleanse himself of his original misdeeds.To hear her tell him that he wasn’t the worthless, damaged man that he saw himself to be.It was too dangerous of course, but he hadn’t been able to resist given her a clue.Something he normally wouldn’t have indulged in but near death seemed to have loosened his control slightly.She didn’t understand, of course.Sighing, he rummaged around in his deeper pockets looking for the additional blood replenishing and strength potions that Hermione hadn’t found.Chugging them down, he wiggled his legs experimentally and was pleased to discover the sharp pain had gone.He still ached.Magical damage of this extent would likely take days if not weeks to resolve but he would recover.He had to admit that a tiny part of him was grateful for the second chance he had been given. 

Snape struggled to his feet and began to walk slowly toward Hogwarts.The screaming and loud bangs that he had originally heard during his contemplation on the floor had ceased and now he could hear the sounds of celebration.He smirked imagining the Dark Lord’s surprise and fury at the moment of his death when he realized he lost to a bunch of teenagers and teachers. The walk to Hogwarts was much further than he remembered and he stumbled more than once, cursing his wounds.He finally reached the end of Hogsmeade and he was temporarily blinded by bright green light as the castle finally came into view.His heart sank as he looked up at the Dark Mark blazing in the sky. _I have failed._ He thought, the irony of his survival when so many others had died was not lost on him.His knees gave way as he tumbled to the ground.“Lily,” he murmured. “I’m sorry.”

Snape was tempted to just lay there on the ground by the path to Hogwarts, he had failed.What was the point of going on?However his anxiety grew as he thought of the curly haired witch who had saved him.Was Miss Granger dead?Was everyone in the Order dead?He pushed back on his hands and knees, letting out an anguished cry as the pain lanced through his spine and soul before he gathered the strength to stand again.He continued to drag his body slowly toward the crumbling castle.Hogwarts was decidedly worse for the wear.It had always been his home and even during this dreadful year as Headmaster spent trying to discreetly rein in the Carrows, the sight of the castle had always brought him comfort.However, in the unnatural harsh green light, with its collapsed walls accompanied by piles of bodies, the castle was forbidding and dark.There was no comfort here. 

He finally reached the gates, hanging off their hinges and Snape tried to push them open.However, they did not move as expected and after several attempts, he looked up and was confronted by the mangled face of Trelawney.Her beaten face was barely recognizable; her eyes seemed to be missing and dark red blood covered most of her mouth and neck.Her back was bent at an impossible angle with two metal spikes sticking lewdly out of her pelvis.Snape quickly looked down, breathing deeply to fight off the rising bile in his stomach.He withdrew his wand from his bloodied robes and blasted the gates away, willing himself not to look toward the dull thud that accompanied the clanging of metal gates falling to the ground.

The grounds of Hogwarts were covered with bodies and Snape struggled again not to vomit as he saw a group of werewolves fighting over a leg that had been ripped from the nearby fallen wizard. _The monsters have won,_ he thought dully.He kept walking forward with no clear intention other than being afraid that if he stopped walking he would have to face this horrifying reality. 

He could hear Voldemort’s booming cruel voice as he walked toward the front line.Cackling crowds of Death Eaters encircled the Dark Lord as he continued to pontificate about the glories of the New Wizarding Order.Most of the Death Eaters had disposed of their masks as there was no benefit to hiding their identify any longer and Snape looked in disgust at a group of men raping a young witch.“The young ones are the best, their cunts are so tight before they bleed.”Macnair commented to the gathering of cheering wizards as he and Rockwood fucked the poor witch brutally.The girl was trying to scream but Rockwood had a tight grip on her throat as he shoved himself into her mouth.The surrounding wizards looked envious and were jerking their own cocks roughly.Snape felt despair closing in on him. Everywhere he looked he was greeted by violence and death.A wave of shame followed; how could he have ever thought he wanted anything like this, even when he was young. 

It was getting harder to breathe, and at first Snape thought it was just a reaction to the horrors he was seeing.However, each intake of air seemed to be less and his left ribs were getting tighter and tighter.Dark spots began to swim in his vision as he gasped for air.The following hiss after his breath clued him in.One of his ribs must have punctured his lung.He had a goddamn pneumothorax. 

A flash of movement near the decimated Whomping Willow caught his attention.Through the curtain of black enveloping his vision, he saw a group of students.He was having difficulty focusing. He couldn’t seem to make out the students’ identities.He grabbed blindly at his robe pockets again, hoping that he had remembered to include the lung trauma potion in his emergency kit.His hand clasped on the distinctly shaped bottle and he swallowed it down.He felt his lung knitting itself back together and his breathing eased slightly, though the darkness was still closing in on him.Snape collapsed on the soft grass wet with the early morning dew as he flickered in and out of consciousness.He struggled but was able to turn his head toward the Whomping Willow again.He caught a glimpse in the corner of his eye of Hermione’s riotous curls and heard a crack of Apparition that he barely registered before he surrendered to comfortable void. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommendation 
> 
> "Bad Moon Rising" by Mourning Ritual


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I did my best, it wasn’t much  
> I couldn’t feel so I tried to touch  
> I told the truth, I didn’t come to fool ya  
> And even though it all went wrong  
> I’ll stand before the Lord of Song  
> With nothing on my tongue but hallelujah."
> 
> Hallulujah by Leonard Cohen

A loud crack split the quiet air and Dean and other battered students landed roughly on a grassy area near a large pond.Hermione fell backwards onto her butt, her breath knocked out of her as she pulled Ron and Seamus down with her.Ron jerked his hand away from Hermione angrily and muttered to himself while brushing off the dead leaves and dirt from his trousers.Seamus quickly stood up as well and offered his hand to Hermione, who was still breathing heavily on the ground. 

“Thanks.” Hermione said softly, all too mindful that her supposed boyfriend hadn’t bothered to help her up. She glanced around at the huddled collection of former Hogwarts students and her heart broke.Parvati was still sobbing uncontrollably, tears running down her face, at the injustice of leaving behind her twin.Neville and Seamus looked shell shocked, and George just stared wordlessly at the pond, looking oddly incomplete without Fred.Even Luna had lost her characteristic optimism, her shoulders slumped and face hidden behind her dirty blond hair.Hermione was surprised to taste salty water on her lips.She hadn’t realized that she too was crying.Everything they had done, every thing they had sacrificed was worthless.Voldemort had won.Hermione knew they should get moving, find shelter, but she was too consumed by her grief to point out that fact. 

However, after a couple of minutes Neville cleared his throat.“I know this is awful but this isn’t over yet.We have to find someplace to hide.We have to keep moving.”George nodded slowly and Luna took Parvati by the hand.Hannah, Dean, Susan and Seamus all nodded in agreement as well but no one spoke.The grief-filled silence felt as thick as impenetrable fog and after no one offered any suggestions, Neville spoke again.“Dean, do you remember if there is any caves around here or a good spot in the trees for us to set up camp?” 

Dean began to speak but was cut off by Ron. 

“This is fucking ridiculous.Are we just going to hide out in the woods and starve? Camping was so much fun the first time around with all the abundant food and comfortable quarters,” he said sarcastically.

“Ron, it’ll be ok.” Hermione said soothingly.She reached for him but he swatted her hand away. 

“Oh really, everything will be fucking fantastic because Little Miss Know-it-All says so.” Hermione stared back at Ron, blinking back angry tears as he continued.“You took such good care of me and Harry when we were out in the woods, cooking those itty bitty little mushrooms for dinner all by yourself.I just can’t wait to do that again!”

“Ron, stop being an asshole!”Hermione yelled.“I did the best I could, it was the only food I could find and you didn’t even help look for anything.”

Ron leered at her.“You always do your best, too bad it was never good enough.I was starving all the time and you certainly didn’t fucking make up for it.You’re not exactly easy on the eyes.”

Hermione was stunned.Ron had always had a bit of a temper but she couldn’t believe he was saying these horrible things at a time like this. A collective intake of breath caused Hermione’s face to flush bright red.She had forgotten about their audience. 

“Ron, listen mate.I know the world is upside down right and it’s upsetting but there’s no reason to take it out on your girlfriend,” Seamus said calmly, trying to defuse the situation. 

Ron just laughed loudly, his ears bright red.“My girlfriend, like I would fuck that frigid bitch if I had another choice.She’s bloody annoying and not even a good lay.” 

Hermione had had enough, she slapped him hard.Ron just shrugged his shoulders.“I’m going back, I certainly didn’t sign up to go camping forever on the run.I am a pureblood, there’s no point in waiting to be killed in the gutter when I can beg for forgiveness.Anyone else coming?George, Neville?”

Ron seemed surprised at the stony silence that followed.He turned to see the angry crossed arms of his fellow students.“Come on.It’s not that I believe in all that Pureblood rubbish but sometimes you have to do what you can to survive.”

Hermione glared at him accusingly.“And me, Ron, what about me?Apparently I’m not your girlfriend and I’m a lousy lay but I thought we were at least friends.Did you ever care about me at all? Because I sure as bloody well don’t have a place in this new order.”

“You are my friend,” he replied lamely.“But I’m not willing to give up my life for you.If you really cared about me you would understand.”

Hermione was speechless.“How dare you accuse me of not caring.You’re abandoning not only me but our friends.” 

Ron simply shrugged his shoulders again as the rest of their friends looked at Ron as if he was someone they didn’t know.George had a sour look on his face at the realization that his younger brother was not only the run-of-the-mill prat he had always suspected, but also a selfish jerk who was willing to sacrifice the lives of his supposed friends for the easy path.

Ron spoke again.“You’re a clever witch, Hermione.I’m sure you’ll make do.Once the dust settles, maybe I can convince them to let me keep you.” 

Hermione’s hair sparked with magic at his crude suggestion. “I am not yours to own Ronald Weasley.Harry would be ashamed of you, abandoning your friends once again for material comfort.” 

“Harry’s dead and I don’t fancy being next.” Ron spat back and without a second glance at the rest of the group, he Disapparated away.

Hermione stood there for several minutes just staring at the empty space where her supposed long time friend had occupied.She had given Ron her love and her trust and he had thrown it away like garbage.The anger and shame swirled in her head as she stood motionless, feeling the hot tears leak from her eyes.Finally she turned back to the group who was waiting silently in shock at the turn of events. Luna reached out her arms and Hermione collapsed into them.It was all too much to handle.She faintly heard the whispers of her friends discussing the situation but they sounded far away as Luna gently stroked her hair.She didn’t know how much time had passed before George put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Come on, we need to leave here.I wouldn’t put it past Ronald to turn us in to curry favor.”George’s voice was bitter and hard. “Seamus has suggested Finglas West in Dublin.”

Hermione raised her head to meet the eyes of her concerned friends. 

“It’s a bit dodgy,” Seamus said.“But people keep to themselves.There’s a large underpass near M50 where a bunch homeless tend to live.We can set ourselves up there and no one will notice.”

“Okay,” Hermione replied, hating the quiver in her voice. 

Luna tentatively caught her eye as they prepared to Apparate once again.“Some people are not meant for adversity.He would have been an acceptable friend in better times but wouldn’t you rather know his true colors?This way you wouldn’t waste your heart on someone undeserving.”

Hermione could only sob in response.Luna and George both wrapped their arms around her and Hermione felt the tug in her navel again as they Side-Apparated her away.This time she did not fall down, as she was cocooned in-between her friends.The stench of old rubbish mixed with petrol filled her noise and Hermione nervously looked around at her new surroundings.To say it was dodgy was being generous.Rainwater mixed with engine oil dripped through cracks in the concrete bridge to form large foul-smelling puddles.Piles of rubbish were everywhere and the underpass was dotted with poorly constructed tents, some appearing to be held together solely with flimsy rope and duct tape.A few disheveled vagrants sat around an old barrel that had been turned into a fire pit drinking large bottles of liquor.The noise of their arrival had startled them and they appeared to be trying to get up and confront them, though they were having some trouble given their level of intoxication. 

Neville pointed his wand at the Muggles.“Confundo.”Confused, they sat back down and continued to drink their poison of choice. 

“That should give us enough time to set up and disguise ourselves if we hurry.”Neville then pointed his wand at a large pile of garbage and flicked it away to one side.Seamus and George pulled their wands out and together began transfiguring pieces of junk into walls for a shelter, tables, chairs and even pillows and cots.Dean was busy fixing the holes in the bridge that were leaking over the their forming hideaway while Hannah and Susan helped arrange the newly transfigured furniture.Luna sat quietly holding Parvati’s hand while she continued to cry softly into her hands.Hermione knew she should help, but she felt numb and couldn’t find the will to move from the wall she was currently leaning on.Their new home came together quickly and Hermione, despite her overwhelming depression, couldn’t help but be impressed.George especially had a knack for Transfiguring and soon she was staring at a very large wooden structure that resembled a two storied house. 

“Hermione, would you mind helping with the protective spells?”Dean’s hesitant voice broke through her jumbled thoughts.“You are by far the most talented and we can’t take the chance of anyone finding us, Muggle or Magical.”

“Sure.”Hermione took a deep breath and began casting layer after layer of charms to prevent detection.Every protective charm and Muggle determent spell she knew were applied to their new home.She felt a sharp stab of pain in her chest as she cast her last charm, designed specifically to keep one Ronald Bilus Weasley from finding them. 

“Everyone come here, I need to individually give you access to the wards to make it as safe as possible.”Hermione touched each of them with her wand and drew a figure on each of their palms, a line followed by three spikes and then another line. 

“What does that figure mean?”Seamus asked thoughtfully as he stroked his hand.“Is it part of the spell?”

“No, you can use any symbol with this spell.I just thought this one would be fitting.It’s the Muggle symbol for electrical resistance.That’s what we are now, The Resistance.”

Neville’s face lit up in a grin.“Hermione, you are brilliant!Alright, let’s get inside before the Confundus charm wears off on those Muggles, though they do seem to be fairly confounded without our help.”

Quickly they all filtered inside what appeared to a shabby blue tent.Hermione was greeted by a rather cheery living area with a large wooden dining table, fireplace and several very soft appearing sofas.Luna pointed her wand at the ceiling and scattered balls of light started to sparkle. 

Dean whistled softly.“This looks amazing for something that was just a pile of trash 15 minutes ago.George, Seamus, I think you missed your calling.” 

Seamus laughed.“Well, don’t forgot that Hannah and Susan helped with the organization; otherwise we’d just have a pile of pretty looking parts.” 

Parvati finally spoke.“Thank you for your help.”She appeared to want to say more but then lost her courage as she looked back at the floor. 

“Well, it’s been a long night for everyone,”Neville said, taking charge.“Let’s all get some rest.Everyone has a curtain, cot and trunk upstairs.I’ll take the first watch.”

“No.”Hermione said.“I couldn’t sleep if I tried and I missed most of the fight running around with Harry and…”Her throat choked on Ron’s name and she found herself fighting back tears again.“Anyway,” Hermione continued awkwardly.“I don’t need sleep as much as the rest of you.I’ll take the first watch.”

“Are you sure?”Neville asked and Hermione nodded.The rest of the group wearily said goodnight and Hermione positioned herself just outside the shelter but inside the protective wards. 

She stared balefully into the flicking orange flames coming from the vagrants’ fire. The night’s chill cut to the bone and she soon found herself hugging her knees in a vain attempt to keep warm.Hermione gripped her wand tight at the faintest of sounds but as the night grew long, she became accustomed to the rustling of the dry leaves and trash in the bitterly cold wind.The fire cast a haunting reflection around the men drinking.More than once, Hermione had thought she saw a Death Eater mask on one of their drunken faces, causing her heart to pound frantically in her chest, only to realize that the light was playing tricks on her and they were still just intoxicated, despondent men drinking their problems away.Hermione stared out at the darkness with hollowed eyes.How had it come to this? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song
> 
> Sound of Silence by Disturbed


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I’m only here because I believe the day deserves a truly sorted end.”  
> "Jump into the Fog" by The Wombats 
> 
> "Reality, looked at steadily, is unbearable." C. S. Lewis.

Severus Snape awoke once more to the sound of a jubilant crowd and clinking of glasses.He was breathing better though his body was still stiff and his head throbbed.He was tempted just to never get up and face as opposed to face the new reality, but curiosity got the better of him.He appeared to be on a bed, and if the linen was any clue, a rather luxurious bed.However, he had no memory of how he got there.He turned his head slowly, trying to get his bearing and gritted his teeth as his neck smarted in response. 

“Well look who is finally awake.It’s good to see you recovering so quickly.”Lucius pronounced.Severus focused blearily at him,bewildered at his pleasant attitude.He was expecting abuse from other Death Eaters or at least verbal assault.He didn’t understand Malfoy’s apparent respect. 

He didn’t have much time to contemplate this personality change when suddenly Lucius bowed his head and sank to the ground.“My Lord, Severus Snape is awake.”Severus felt his blood run cold.He immediately strengthened his occlumency shields and pushed the cobwebs from his addled brain, waiting for Voldemort’s rage to be released on him.The Dark Lord, however, caressed his cheek like a lover before speaking.“My dear Severus, I regret trying to kill you.I thought it was necessary to win though it appears for once I was mistaken.We have won the war and every one of my loyal followers will reap the rewards.However, no one is more deserving than you.You will be my second in command and every other Death Eater will bow to you.You were willing to die for me.” 

Comprehension sparked in his head.The Dark Lord thought he had willingly accepted death topromote his deranged agenda.The double agent in him immediately latched onto that thought. “Oh course, my Lord.There was never any question.My only goal is serve you.”Snape tried to bow his head however he discovered his range of motion was seriously limited and he struggled not to cry out in pain.

“Severus.Don’t strain yourself.”He paused and twirled his wand absentmindedly.“If you are up to it though, I would love to hear the story of your survival.”His tone remained gentle though Snape could easily sense the undercurrent of suspicion. 

“Well, my gracious Lord.”Snape paused, frantically trying to piece together a story that would satisfy the Dark Lord.“After Nigini’s bite, I lay on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, waiting for death, fully content knowing that I had played an important role in ensuring your victory.However, as minutes ticked by, I realized that my bleeding was slowing and I was still very much alive.I admit, it baffled me for a second, until it registered that I must have an immunity to Nigini’s venom.I had forgotten that Potion’s Masters often develop a tolerance to snake’s venom and other insectivore poisons due to frequent exposure.It was conceivable that I would eventually die from my wounds but I presumed that it was necessary for me to die by your hand sooner rather than later.So I administered a temporary Strengthening Solution that I had in my robes and tried to crawl back to you.Unfortunately, I appear to have passed out prior to reaching you and I beg your forgiveness.” 

Snape unflinchingly met Voldemort’s crimson eyes as he pushed images of his struggle to reach the battle and his feelings of regret to the front of his mind.Luckily, his story and manipulated images seemed to appease Tom Riddle.After several heart pounding moments, Voldemort erupted in gleeful laughter and he spoke in a booming voice.“To all those who have doubted my most worthy follower, even after he killed Dumbledore, here again is the proof of his loyalty.“Bellatrix, your continued concern seems misplaced.”He directed a harsh gaze at the demented witch.“I do not like petty witches who aim to cut down my loyal followers just for their own betterment.”

“My Lord, I was mistaken.Please forgive me.” Bellatrix fell onto her knees, groveling at his feet.Voldemort looked angrily down at her and pointed his wand.A magical whip lashed Bellatrix’s back and she screamed.She received five heavy blows before Voldemort tired of it and kicked her aside.The witch continued to plead for forgiveness on the floor despite her profusely bleeding back. 

“Rodolphus, clean up your wife and remind her that I will not tolerate this worthless behavior again.” 

“Yes, my Lord.”Rodolphus Lestrange pulled his wife up by the hair and quickly dragged her out of the ballroom.Her hysterical cries echoed in the hallway before finally growing silent.

“Lucius, see that Severus is well cared for.I will hold you personally responsible if he fails to improve as expected.” The threat, obvious in his voice, served as a warning to all the Death Eaters.Severus Snape was now untouchable. 

Lucius bowed his head in response and turned back to Snape as the Dark Lord returned to his throne.

“I didn’t want you to miss the party.” Lucius said.“So I had the house elves put a bed in my ballroom so you could recover and witness our victory.”

Snape ignored Lucius as he looked around.He knew the elder Malfoy was lying and there was little point to listening.Lucius had obviously hoped that if he was given audience with Voldemort immediately upon waking that he would be sussed out to be a traitor or at least a self-serving wizard and not the martyr he had been painted.Fortunately Severus Snape had been playing this game for many years.

Lucius continued to prattle on about their success and the rewards that were coming to his loyal followers as Severus took in the celebration surrounding him.The Death Eaters had all shed their masks and were enjoying the abundance of food and liquor.He wondered how long he had been unconscious.Several wizards were already passed out, slumped against chairs, spittle leaking from the corners of their mouths.There was a collection of witches lined up on the far wall in various states of undress.His chest constricted with fear.Was Hermione one of the unnamed witches?However, at second glance, he saw the corsets and fishnet stocking and relaxed.These were Knockturn Alley whores, not prisoners, brought in to satisfy the carnal needs of the victors. 

Malfoy noticed his gaze.“Free whores.Volunteered to be of service and prove their loyalty to the new regime.I personally like a little fight in my witches but all of the blood traitor and Mudblood witches that didn’t escape were killed on the battlefield so they will have to do until we round up some more.”

He gave a malicious sneer as he resumed talking.“At least I got my dick wet in a few bitches before they were killed.Too bad you weren’t able to indulge.I especially enjoyed shooting my pureblood cum into this one witch’s ass while I choked her.I know that would have been right up your alley.”

Snape could hear his mocking tone.It was well known among the Death Eaters that originally he had refused to participate in rape.It had been years ago and now as far as anyone was concerned he was just as depraved as the next wizard.However, the whispers always followed him.The elder Malfoy could never resist a dig at his original reluctance or remind him how his behavior was corrected.Impotent rage flared in him and Severus struggled to keep from reacting. 

Lucius continued to sneer at him but was unable to hide his disappointment at his lack of reaction.“Well,” he drawled. “As enjoyable as it is to play nursemaid to the illustrious Severus Snape, I’m going to get a drink.”He strolled away without a second glance.

_Fuck!_ Snape cursed in his head.Here he was trapped in a bed with silk sheets in the middle of Malfoy’s fucking ballroom, stuck watching the worst of the Wizarding World claim their ill-gotten victory.His thoughts were a jumbled mess of regret and despair.Not knowing what else to do, Snape propped himself up in the bed.He paused, feeling quite disoriented as if he was swimming underwater.After several minutes, the feeling passed and he took another look around the giant ballroom. 

Unfortunately, it appeared that most of the Death Eaters had survived the final battle.Everyone was drinking heavily and he was surprised that more followers hadn’t already succumbed to slumber.Clusters of wizards in a corner were loudly fucking the available whores in every orifice.They cheered and toasted to their success loudly as they deposited their tiny loads on the prostitutes heavily made-up faces.Everywhere Snape looked, debauchery abounded.And at the center of it all, Voldemort sat in a golden throne where he sipped his glass of wine and surveyed the celebration.

Well, debauchery almost everywhere. Snape amended his thoughts as he took a second look around the crowded ballroom.Draco Malfoy sat alone, almost hidden behind the opulent green drapes.His eyes remained focused solely on the large crystal decanter of firewhisky resting in his lap.He took a large swig from his glass.His chest heaved as he coughed, spilling a portion of his drink onto the wooden floor.He took another sip and refilled his glass. A loud outburst broke out as two Death Eaters squabbled over a bottle of champagne and Draco’s shoulders tensed in response but he never looked up.Snape watched him for almost an hour before moving on, but nothing changed.Draco Malfoy did not move and he did not look up.

The hour soon grew late, the moon casting faint shadows on the darkened corners of the ballroom but the celebration continued.Severus Snape just sat in his bed, dully observing the continued merriment. He had no idea how long he sat there.He was just again wondering how long he had been unconscious when a newly initiated Death Eater approached him.The sun was just rising now, rays of light peaking through the dark drapes, creating an ironic halo around the young wizard’s face.Snape recognized his face.He couldn’t remember his name but he recalled that he had just joined the cause several months ago.The man was extremely drunk and swayed slightly as he tried to remain on his feet. 

“The all mighty Severus Snape.” He slurred.“Enjoying the party?”

Snape eyed the man warily but choose not to answer.He found it hard to muster any emotion.The events of the last several days had left him numb.He didn’t want to live in this hell.It was hard to care at this point whether he lived or died.

Apparently it was a rhetorical question as the wizard continued without waiting for a response.“You think you’re so special.You didn’t even fight at the Battle of Hogwarts.You’re a hero foralmost bleeding out on the ground.”

Attention was once again centered around Snape.He felt it best to just ignore the instigator.He was in no shape for a duel.The wizard raised his wand but before he could cast anything, the drunk found himself hanging upside by his feet, his robe covering his head, exposing his faded pants to the surrounding crowd. 

Voldemort had risen from his perch and had his wand trained on the upstart.“I’m not sure how to make myself clearer on the matter.” His tone dangerously soft.“This wizard has time and time again proven his worth and his loyalty.I consider any violence toward him a direct insult to me.” 

He lazily flicked his wand and the man screamed as his skin began peeling from his body.After several minutes, the screaming stopped.The Dark Lord waved his wand again and the drunk Death Eater fell loudly to the floor into his own puddle of blood.“Lucius, please dispose of this mess.”Voldemort said nonchalantly before sitting back down. 

The silence that had befallen the ballroom, slowly dissipated though many Death Eaters continued to shoot Snape covetous looks. _Wonderful._ Severus thought sarcastically. _I am the envy of all the Death Eaters._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommendation 
> 
> "Good luck" by Broken Bells


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It has to start somewhere, it has to start sometime  
> What better place than here, what better place than now?
> 
> "Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against The Machine
> 
> Trigger warning: Suicide attempt

The morning came quickly, the rain had stopped though it was still bitter cold.Hermione sat quietly, watching the sun rise as it cast a hazy glow through the morning fog.Neville came out of their makeshift house early and settled down next to her.The oppressive silence weighed heavily down on them, despite the world around them coming alive.Finally Neville spoke. 

“Hermione, why don’t you lie down for a bit.I’ve got this.”

The overwhelming fatigue that had been steadily creeping into her bones all night asserted itself and Hermione just nodded in response.The other members of their rag tag group were just waking up and Hermione could barely muster a half hearted smile before collapsing onto her bed.The nightmares were sure to come but exhaustion rapidly overtook her and she slept.

Hermione awoke hours later frantic, clawing at the blankets in fear.It took several minutes to get her bearings.The fear was replaced with a dull ache in her chest as she came to terms with her new reality.The Order had lost and this small group might well be the only survivors. She just wanted to curl up in her bed and hide forever.Pretend she was safe at home, in her parent’s house, in her childhood bed.The tears came unbidden and she sobbed soundlessly.She felt paralyzed.She had no idea what to do next. Even during the year of hunting Horcruxes she had followed clues, had some semblance of a plan.Now, however, she had nothing.She was lost.It was hard to know exactly how long she stood motionless in front of her door but eventually Hermione steeled herself and stepped outside.

In the daylight, the common area that George had built looked even more impressive.Hermione couldn’t help but think how well he would have done on the OWLs if he just applied himself.A very small part of her appreciated the irony.Here she was still thinking about grades and OWLs and NEWTs when they were on the run from the Wizarding World. 

Everyone but Neville was sitting on the sofas, talking quietly about what to do next.The stairs creaked announcing her arrival and they looked up startled.

Luna spoke first. “Hi Hermione.Good to see you got some sleep.Come join us.” 

Hermione sat awkwardly down on the nearest sofa and glanced around at the group.Everyone wore a rather dazed beaten look on their faces but George and Parvati appeared much worse.They both had a blank look of despair on their faces, obviously consumed by their grief. Hermione couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose a twin.

“So.” Seamus said, clearing his throat.“I think we should get Neville and begin making some plans.”Everyone responded with lackluster nods and Seamus quickly got up to get Neville from his watch.

“I don’t know what the point is.”Parvati said.“Aren’t we just delaying the inevitable?Sooner or later, we’ll be found and killed.Why bother?” 

Hannah reached over and gently took her hand but Parvati jerked it away, refusing comfort.“I should have just stayed and kept searching for Padma.What if she’s still alive?I just abandoned her.”

Susan and Hannah exchanged a worried glance before Susan spoke.“Parvati, please listen, Padma would want you to be safe.” 

“Why do I get to live when she’s dead!”Parvati all but screamed in response before sinking to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. 

Hannah again reached for her, putting a hand on her shoulder.This time, she did not pull away and Hannah sank to the floor and took Parvati in her arms.Seamus had arrived back with Neville and they stood next to the others silently taking in the scene in front of them.Somehow, Hermione’s grief felt small compared to Parvati’s.

Parvati eventually quieted down and Hannah was finally able to get her to stand up.“C’mon lets get you to bed.I’ll stay with you.”The two walked up the makeshift stairs and disappeared. 

Everyone sat back down and turned to Neville who found himself already fulfilling the duty of the leader. 

“What’s the plan, Neville?”Dean asked. 

“I think we should just lay low here for a while.It’s going to take some time to regroup and recover.”

“I want to take out those bastards.”George said angrily. “I wanna make them pay, especially Rookwood.I owe at least that to Fred.”

“Definitely.”Seamus said.“We need to strike back.We’re Dumbledore’s Army!”

Neville nodded solemnly.“I agree.Once we’re ready, I say we fight.We can’t let evil win.We can’t give up.But we need to recover.We need to be prepared before we go back in.I don’t want to lose anyone else.When we go to fight, we go to win.”

Neville turned to face Hermione.“What do you think, Hermione?”

Hermione looked around at the group, the eagerness to fight etched on their faces and sighed.“I agree with Neville.We aren’t prepared enough.We would be like lambs to a slaughter without a plan.”

Dean’s shoulders slumped dejectedly and George’s face grew hard but the rest of the alliance seemed to accept this proclamation without much reaction.George began arguing but before he could get too agitated, Luna placed her hand in his and he quieted.

“Instead of fighting among ourselves, I suggest we start working on our abilities.”Luna said practically. 

Seamus clasped his hands together in response.“Let’s form a resistance mates!”

Over the next few months, a surprisingly normal routine was established.After some discussion, it had been decided that those with any experience in the muggle world would get jobs and those remaining would help prepare for the upcoming fight as well as keep up on the mundane chores of cooking and cleaning.Hermione, would be the exception.Everyone had decided unanimously that she would be most useful in research.

It had taken only a couple of days and some magically forged credentials for Seamus, Hannah, Susan and Dean to get jobs.Dean and Seamus both managed to get jobs at the nearby Dunnes Store while Hannah found a job at Eddie Rocket’s and Susan found a job at Costa coffee. The household chores on the other hand, had caused many more problems.Neville was completely pants at everything he tried.He was banned from the kitchen after he set fire to breakfast twice in three days and in an incident that even Neville was unable to explain the laundry room had been completely taken over with giant pink bubbles for a week.Finally Neville was excluded from chores and relegated to the helping Hermione research and plan training sessions. 

George surprisingly enough turned out to be an excellent chef and after the group endured several culinary experiments by Luna, it was decided that Luna’s talents lay elsewhere.George became the unofficial cook for the house and Luna managed cleaning and laundry with sporadic help from Parvati.Parvati had her good and bad days but she seemed to be coping.

Hermione spent most of her days with her head buried in books.She often thanked her foresight at stocking her beaded bag with all of her books.To have any chance of defeating Voldemort, they would have to be well prepared.Hermione reviewed and outlined defense against the dark arts books, noting down any useful spells.She reviewed healing books, potion books and charm books.Neville originally helped her outline and plan lessons but soon Hermione realized that he was actually the best used to gather and grow potion ingredients.George helped her brew healing potions and with the help of Dean constructed a training area that rivaled their previous training space in the Room of Requirement.Every night they trained.Sometimes defense spells, sometimes learning the best charms for surveillance, sometimes just physical sparing.It reminded her of 5th year, training as Dumbledore’s army.The stakes had always seemed high then but it seemed like child’s play now.

In the evenings, after training most of the group would drink together.Sometimes reminiscing together over the good times at Hogwarts, sometimes plotting revenge.Couples had started to emerge and soon almost everyone had company to ward away the nighttime demons. George and Luna were the first couple with Neville and Susan soon pairing off as well.Dean and Seamus had tried to hide their relationship at first, but living in such a confined space, their secret had only lasted for three weeks.Over dinner one night, Luna had asked nonchalantly if Dean and Seamus wanted a special meal for their one year anniversary much to the bewilderment of the others.Dean had turned red and Seamus almost choked on his food but after several confused moments the rest of the table had offered to plan a special night for them and the details emerged.Dean and Seamus had been a couple soon after Dean had broken up with Ginny.Originally they had kept it quiet to avoid hurting Ginny’s feelings but with the muggleborn registration and the war, they had thought it best to avoid advertising their feelings.They were so used to hiding that they just continued it.Seamus admitted that he was nervous as well about how the group would react.The Wizarding world wasn’t quite as homophobic as the muggle world but certain circles still looked down on it.Everyone at the table had reassured them that they were nothing but happy for the previously closeted couple and the next night they threw them a party.It was a good distraction.That night, Hannah and Parvati held hands all night and retreated to Hannah’s room together.

Hermione was happy for everyone and while she was the only uncoupled person in the house, she was content with herself.The others went out of their way to make sure she didn’t feel excluded.Casually one night while they where chopping vegetables for dinner, Luna had even offered for her to borrow George if she ever needed physical release.Hermione had politely declined. She understood everyone’s need for companionship, physical touch but she wasn’t ready.Not after Ron’s public betrayal.She would climb the stairs alone each night, after everyone had paired off and read.

When she had packed her beaded bag so many months ago, she had included two books on Occlumency.Professor Snape had always stressed to Harry that Occlumency was not a talent one could learn from books.However, she was anxious to try.The torture at Bellatrix’s hand never was far from her mind.If that crazy witch had been even remotely skilled in Legilimency, she would have been eviscerated right on Malfoy’s expensive carpet and Voldemort would have made new Horcruxes, negating any of their hard earned gains. Now in this bleak new world, the only hope of survival rested on absolute secrecy.She was determined to learn the mind magic that would not only allow her to hide her thoughts but protect other’s open minds.She had spent hours scouring over the two books, trying to gain mastery over what was well accepted to be the most complicated subject in magic.One of the books even admitted in the foreword that many magical folk didn’t have the mental fortitude to learn the topic at hand.Hermione wasn’t sure if it was just luck or her persistence but she was making significant progress.It appeared she was one who did have the ability.Her ultimate goal was not only to learn to block her own thoughts but to learn the complicated spells noted at the end of the more detailed Occlumency book which protected secrets from prying eyes even if the wizard or witch in question did not know Occlumency.The books stated that only a handful of wizards and witches had ever managed to perform them correctly.But Hermione was always up for a challenge.

The summer gave way to fall without much change in routine.Dean and George were eager to start to fight but even they were willing to admit they weren’t ready yet.Despite months of planning and training they knew they still did not have the skills.The scraps of news they had obtained, picked up from trash bins around the edges of the wizarding community did not hold promising reports.Muggleborns rounded up and forced into slavery.Pureblood ideals splashed on the front page.

Parvati unfortunately had become an issue. She had always had her good and bad days but over the past two months as the chill of winter began to creep in, her bad days had become the routine.Hermione and Neville were at a loss.She had seemed to be adjusting slowly but her progress had stalled and now she seemed to be backsliding.Her relationship with Hannah originally brought new light into her eyes and while she continued to have trouble adjusting, Hermione had thought she was doing better.But now it appeared she had been wrong.For the past month, Parvati had taken a severe turn for the worse.During the days, she often refused to leave her bed and on the off chance when she did, she usually just wandered aimlessly around the house. Hannah and Susan spent most of their evenings with her, trying to comfort her with little success.Every day Hermione hoped she would see a glimmer of life behind Parvati’s eyes again but it seemed she was doomed to be disappointed.

It finally came to a head on a Tuesday morning.Hermione had been so excited to see Parvati up and about the day before and actually interacting with everyone.It hadn’t occurred to her that she was saying goodbye.When Parvati didn’t get up that morning, she hadn’t been too worried.It wasn’t the first time she had refused to get up in the morning.However, when Hannah asked about her after coming home from her morning shift, Hermione realized she hadn’t even stirred yet.The thought crossed both of their minds simultaneously and in unison they ran up the wooden stairs and barged into Parvati’s bedroom.For a second, Hermione breathed a sigh of relief.Nothing appeared amiss, Parvati was just sleeping, curled in her white comforter as normal.But as Hermione continued to analyze the scene in front of her, fear crept into her heart.Parvati lay awfully still and with the light now illuminating her, she seemed very pale.

Hannah rushed to her side, grasping Parvati’s hands frantically.However, she immediately cried out and withdrew her hands.Hermione gasped in shock at Hannah’s bloody hands. Luckily her training took over and Hermione sprinted over to assess Parvati, barely pausing to send an urgent patronus. 

It was a very tense hour and more than once Hermione doubted whether Parvati would pull through.Mercifully, Neville’s crop of Valerian root had matured three weeks ago which had allowed Hermione to stock up their supply of blood-replenishing potions.It took five vials before her color returned and her breathing stabilized.A very complicated healing charm that Hermione had mastered the month before revealed that her pulse and respirations had returned to normal with no evidence of anoxic brain injury or other undetected injuries. 

“Hannah, can you stay with her and keep her safe for now?I don’t want her to be left alone.” Hermione said, as she dabbed Essence of Dittany on Parvati’s wrists to minimize the scarring.“I need to talk with Neville.” 

Neville and Hermione had discussed the different options with George and Luna but deep down they already knew the answer.Parvati couldn’t stay with them.They waited until the Dean, Seamus and Susan returned from work to make a final decision but they all agreed, even Hannah. It had been foolish to think they could deal with her depression without professional help.The field of mental health was not well regarded in the wizarding world and even if they hadn’t been on the run, resources were minimal.It was definitely one of the aspects where Muggles had far surpassed the magical community. It took several days to arrange everything but finally with some magically forged paperwork, Parvati was admitted inpatient to the local psychiatric hospital. 

Hermione and Hannah escorted her there.The hospital was surprisingly efficient and within the hour following a tearful goodbye, the duo started the long trek back home. Hannah was silent as they waited for the bus.Hermione struggled to come up with the right words to say but realized that there wasn’t anything to say.Despite the rare sunny day, Hermione was cold.She felt beaten already.How could a group of former students defeat the Wizard who had bested Dumbledore, bested the Order and killed her best friend when they couldn’t even keep Parvati safe. 

The mood was somber when Hannah and Hermione returned home.Dinner was a quiet affair, punctuated only with silted conversation.Training was canceled tonight as it was too hard to muster any enthusiasm and after dinner everyone retreated upstairs.Hermione’s heart ached as she slowly walked up the stairs alone.She hadn’t minded before but now she desperately needed someone to support her, to care for her, even to lie to her and tell her everything was going to be alright.A year ago, she would have thought that person would have been Ron.But in the face of danger and hardship, Ron instead had abandoned her not once but twice.Tears stung her face as she sat in her tiny room, overwhelmed with loneliness. 

She stared into the dark for sometime, weeping silently.Eventually her mind went back to Severus Snape.Was he celebrating the new regimen, reaping the rewards of murdering Dumbledore and betraying the order?Did he laugh at the naive Muggleborn who had saved his life?In her nightmares, she could see his sneering face, cruelly mocking her.She hadn’t told anyone that she had saved his life.She was ashamed to admit to anyone, even her friends and allies that she had willingly saved a traitor like him.A wizard who wanted to cleanse the world of her kind. 

Except, in the hidden depth of her heart, she knew she would do it again if she was presented with the opportunity.A flicker of something she couldn’t define had directed her and despite all the evidence to the contrary she felt she had done the right thing.She couldn’t explain it.She had run his nonsensical statement to her over and over again in her head and was still at a loss.She found herself ruminating again, trying somehow to solve the riddle.Her eyes finally grew heavy and she drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song
> 
> "Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against The Machine


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Pain without love  
> Pain I can't get enough  
> Pain I like it rough   
> 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"
> 
> "Pain" by Three Days Grace

It had taken weeks for Snape to recover from his near death experience.After Voldemort’s grisly display, he was treated like royalty by all, including the Malfoys who had attended to him as he healed.He had been given an extravagant guest room with his own personal house elf to assist him at all times.Narcissa personally brought him his meals and inquired politely about his health on every visit. She was the consummate hostess, making sure all of his needs were met. If Snape had not been a practiced spy, he would have easily missed the shadow of fear behind those steel blue eyes.

After three weeks of bed rest, the intermittent sharp shooting pain that transversed his spine when he attempted to walk too far had finally resolved.Now that he was finally able to leave the confines of his room, Snape had taken to walking to their garden daily in a pathetic attempt to ignore reality.He was still too weak to leave the care of the Malfoys but each day he was getting a tiny bit stronger.He would sit in silence for hours on a polished silver bench surrounded by vines of blood red roses, lost in thought.Sometimes Lily would appear to him in his mind, her auburn hair whipped around by an invisible wind.She would smile at him and he could imagine she had forgiven him.He could imagine a life where they were still friends, a life where she would still be living, watching Harry grow up.However, he could never forget for long and his heart would break all over again when he remembered his current reality.Lily dead, Harry dead, Dumbledore dead.The list of deaths he had been unable to prevent weighed his soul down but Lily’s death ripped his soul apart.He had wanted power, wanted respect and instead his information had resulted in killing a friend and her husband, leaving an orphan son.He had worked so hard to rid himself of that original sin but instead he had accumulated so much more sin that he would never been clean.Hermione also haunted his thoughts.The curls framing her face like an angel in his memory, her voice reverberating in his head.“You bastard, don’t give up now."

The only advantage to currently being an invalid was that it excused him from the near nightly revels and senseless violence.Of course Lucius joined them and would purposely stop by his room in the early morning.Ostensibly to check on his well being but truthfully Snape knew it was nothing more than a poor excuse to brag about that night’s horrors, often with dried blood still splattered on his face and staining his pale blond hair.

After nearly two months of recovery, Lord Voldemort visited him in the early evening in his bedroom. Snape still took his meals in his rooms, unwilling to join the Malfoy family and had just been about to start his supper. 

“Nothing gives me more joy than to see you recovering so well.”

Severus bowed his head and placed his tray to the side of his bed.“My Lord.” 

“Lucius tells me you have been getting stronger by the day and I am glad to see that he was not exaggerating or trying in some way to usurp you.Come walk with me.I have news.”

Snape rose immediately.“I apologize for my disheveled state, I was not expecting visitors.” 

Voldemort waved his hand, dismissing his concerns.They walked in silence until they had reached the middle of the garden.“My campaign is going well to rid the Wizarding world of the polluting influence of Mudbloods and Blood Traitors.I am looking forward to you serving as my right hand once you are fully healed.I will set up a wonderful house near Hogsemeade since the previous inhabitants vacated so unexpectedly.”His evil grin brought shivers down Severus Snape’s back. 

“I am humbled that you would think of me.I feel it is time for me to leave Lucius’ gracious company.However, I will still need to visit my old home frequently, it has taken years to set the proper wards conducive to potion making.As you know, it is very time consuming to cast the wards needed to cancel out any atmospheric interference while brewing.”

“Ah yes.Bellitrix and Peter have told me what a dump that residence was and I always wondered why a powerful wizard such as yourself would continue to live there.Not being a potion master, I had not considered the complexity of potion making wards.Of course I understand your need to visit your old home, but please make sure you don’t work too hard.You have always been the most disciplined of my followers but it’s time you enjoy yourself a little.”

Severus knew that while Voldemort valued his discipline, it was to the Dark Lord’s advantage that his followers indulged themselves.It made them easier to manipulate.

“Will you be well enough by Friday?I am planning on throwing a celebration to announce your return.”

“Oh course my Lord.”Snape had been a spy long enough to know this was not a request.His face betrayed none of his true feelings.He bowed as Voldemort took his leave and returned slowly to his soon to be vacated room.He knew he couldn’t hide away forever but if only he could spend just a few more weeks denying the existence of this the new world order in which he had unwittingly become such a valued member. 

The next day, Severus packed away his measly collection of books with which he had been gifted by various associates looking to improve their standing as well as his new robes which Lucius had given him.He apparated to Hogsmeade alone.His house was the finest in all of Hogsmeade, resting on a hill overlooking the village.It had previously belonged to the Ollivander family and Snape shuddered to think of the atrocities that had been committed here.

Inside nothing was amiss other than two small scorch marks on the wall of the living room.Whatever had happened in the house, the secret stayed within the walls.Snape picked the biggest bedroom and set his possessions down.He immediately began casting wards.Unfortunately it would never be quite as safe as Spinner’s End, since he had no blood tie to the house but after three hours of hard work, his spells had made the house almost impenetrable.He walked around the house slowly, casting glamours to make it look well lived in.He would have to occasionally put in an appearance here but otherwise he planned on living at Spinner’s end.As depressing as the family history surrounding his home was, it was still safer and far better than residing in this ill-gotten gain.

That night, dressed in the finest robes, he was introduced by the Dark Lord as his right hand at the new brothel in Hogsmeade to the jealously of all the attending Death Eaters.The evening was as crude and vile as Snape had expected.Alcohol was free flowing and the whores aplenty.Lord Voldemort did not partake but watched approvingly as his followers debased themselves.To Severus’ hidden horror, he recognized several of the whores as previous students who couldn’t have been older than seventeen. 

Avery sidled up next to him, noticing his gaze.“Isn’t it great.” His voice was already slurred with drink.“Fresh young pussy.Most of the captured female Mudbloods and Blood Traitors have been reeducated and now understand their role.The best looking ones are usually snapped up by the rich wanting a sex slave all for themselves but there’s still pretty of good enough looking ones to go around.”

Snape ignored the gnawing pit in his stomach as he looked appraisingly over the collection of whores at his disposal. 

“Mmm, I see.” 

Avery grinned at him and elbowed him excitedly.“I’m sure you’re in need of a good fuck, my man.”

Severus opened his mouth to respond, to try to distract him but before he could speak, Voldemort interrupted. 

“Severus.I do hope you are enjoying yourself.”The Dark Lord’s voice seemed to slither out of nowhere, reminding him of a cobra about to strike.

“Of course my Lord.I am beyond honored at your recognition.” 

“I have arranged a little gift for you.”He beckoned over at a whore in the corner. 

Snape’s heart dropped to his feet as the whore came into view, revealing herself as none other than Penelope Clearwater. 

“I know you hated teaching the little brats under Dumbledore’s fiefdom.Yet you stayed and performed your duty without protest at my request.I thought what better gift than a former student to fuck?”

Penelope took several hesitating steps toward him.Her eyes beseeching him to be kind.Irrationally, this just made him anger. _How could Dumbledore let this happen?_ He had traded his soul to Dumbledore’s great plan, for the chance to repent for his precious sins.And now he couldn’t even protect this former charge.Maybe he had died on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, for this was certainly hell.

He grabbed her hair roughly, pulling her into him.He pulled down her dress, exposing her breasts and squeezed them hard.The other Death Eaters quickly gathered in a crowd around him, cheering him on.Snape had long developed spells to deal with rape but this wasn’t exactly the case.She couldn’t be left with no memory of this event and she would find it suspicious if her senses were blurred during the event.He doubted she would intentionally betray him but she would be in frequent Death Eater company. 

Luckily Miss Clearwater was intelligent.She was obviously well aware that she would be killed for disobeying a direct order from Voldemort.She had been gifted to him and was doing her damn best to please him, despite his manhandling.Snape managed to cast a nonverbal arousal spell on himself before she reached his cock.She engulfed it in her mouth and Snape thrust vigorously into her, leering at the crowd.He came quickly and pulled out spewing his seed on her tearstained face.He pushed her away and she fell to the floor, her breasts still visible. 

He grabbed a bottle of Firewhisky and took a large gulp directly from the bottle.It burned like acid going down but that was the least he deserved. _Fuck, he was a monster._ Voldemort had watched in satisfaction as Snape face fucked his former student but he had lost interest now.He turned his interest to some of the new recruits and Snape used the opportunity to take his leave.He found an unoccupied room and sat down on the bed.He wanted to cry.He wanted to scream.However, he could do none of those things in the current setting so he settled for taking another drink from his bottle.He stared mindlessly at the stone wall. 

It might have been minutes or hours later, when a knock on the door jolted him out of his numbness. 

“Enter.” 

A red haired whore with green eyes opened the door, naked except for a string of pearls dangling between her breasts and a small red thong. 

“I was sent by Lord Voldemort.”Snape called on all of his occlumency to maintain his composure.It was no coincidence she looked like Lily.

“Alright.I am coming.”He grabbed his bottle of Firewhisky tightly as he struggled to stand up.He was more intoxicated than he previously thought. 

The girl looked horrified at his answer.“No, please don’t reject me.He’ll punish me.”

He sat back down on the bed heavily as it dawned on him.Voldemort didn’t want him back at the party.He was giving him another present.It made him wonder, how awful his punishment would be if it was ever found out who he truly was, if his presents when he was in favor were this twisted. 

The red headed woman approached him, giving him a seductive smile and stroked his bicep with her hand.He pushed her away but she was stubborn and returned almost immediately, this time her hand on his leg.He batted her hand away.She responded by taking off her tiny red thong and dropping it on the floor.He pointedly looked the other way.

“Please.”

Reluctantly he glanced up at her.She was so frightened she was trembling now.“Please don’t send me back.”

Snape inwardly cursed the gods.He cast another nonverbal arousal charm on himself and motioned her over.Her panicked look immediately receded. She sloppily kissed him as she pushed herself against him.He hitched up his robes and dropped his pants.She moaned in return, rubbing her breasts against his chest.He entered her and groaned despite himself.It had just been so long since anyone had even pretended to want him. 

However, he couldn’t forget that this was just a performance.He was all alone in this horrible new world.No one would ever want him.His previous transgressions had tarnished him but truthfully had he even been worth loving.He silently cursed both Voldemort and Dumbledore and began to fuck her angrily into the bed.Trying to fuck his unbearable pain away. He grunted as he came and then rolled off her, disgusted with himself.She left quietly and he took another giant swig of Firewhisky.Finally, the liquor began to take hold and rendered him unconscious.His last waking thought was if someone would kill him tonight as he lay unprotected, he would welcome death.

Several weeks later, he stared lost in his bitterness, at the crackling fire.All those years, he had prided himself for his courage to maintain his spy persona despite torture and violence but he was nothing more than a fucking coward.He knew even with Voldemort’s full trust, he could not succeed in killing him at this time and that was the fragile logic to which he clung to justify his continued existence in this living hell. However, if he had true courage, he should be willing to give his life in exchange for killing as many of the Death Eaters as possible to leave Voldemort exposed. 

In a rage, he clenched his Firewhisky glass so hard it shattered, shards of glass flying everyone.Shocked, Severus stared numbly at the rapidly accumulating puddle of fresh bright red blood dripping from his injured hand.Ignoring the sharp pain from his palm, he sank back down into his chair.His anger fell away just as quickly as it had flared, leaving behind only the oppressive embrace of despair. He felt chilled to the bone despite the roaring fire, as if the Dark Lord’s cruelty had permeated his very soul.

His mind was hazy with drink but it didn’t stop the memories from assaulting him.Lily’s wide grin at being told she could do magic, the searing pain in his heart as he watched Lily talk animately with her friends and realizing that he would never earn her forgiveness, Harry’s blank green eyes staring back at him from his desecrated body, Dumbledore begging for him to further blacken his soul to save Draco’s.Hermione’s face appeared as well, the compassion and hope in her eyes as she brought him back from the tight grip of death.The scene had played over many times in his head, with Hermione both his savior and his tormentor. 

Another memory popped into his head even as his vision blurred with intoxication. He remembered a tattered copy of a Muggle’s Year 12 English book that he had taken to reading during one of his later summer’s at Spinner’s End.It was the year his father had destroyed all of his other books in a drunken fit after running out of booze.The English book had contained a selection of short stories and poems and there was one poem he had always enjoyed reading.T.S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men.At the time he hadn’t really grasped the meaning, but it had seemed to speak to him in a way few poems did.It echoed in his head now and the irony was not lost on him. 

_We are the hollow men_

_We are the stuffed men….._

The fire slowly burned down to the embers, casting a heavy red glow across the room.Snape remained motionless in his chair.

_This is the dead land_

_This is cactus land…._

He was lost, defeated.He didn’t even have the courage to kill himself and end this misery.He was indeed a fucking coward. 

_Is it like this_

_In death’s other Kingdom_

_Walking alone….._

He felt smothered with shame.He had gotten himself into this mess. He had joined willingly, too easily overlooking the atrocities for the promise of power.It didn’t matter that he had spent years trying to atone for his sins.In the end, it had resulted in nothing.In the end, he was nothing. 

_This is the way the world ends_

_This is the way the world ends_

The room had grown colder as the fire burned itself out.The faint orange embers crackled, dying.The only other noise was the slow dripping of his blood from his open palm onto the stone floor below.That too, had slowed as the tacky blood had congealed around the unattended wound. 

The fire sputtered one last time, before blinking out of existence.His blood spattered twice more upon the floor before stopping and leaving Severus Snape in absolute darkness and complete silence. 

_This is the way the world ends_

_Not with a bang but a whimper._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song
> 
> "Pain" by Three Days Grace


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post last week, got distracted with Thanksgiving. I will try to keep up with my weekly posting on Saturday. 
> 
> It matters not how, strait the gate,  
> How charged with punishments the scroll.  
> I am the master of my fate:  
> I am the captain of my soul. 
> 
> Invictus by Willam Ernest Henley

As time went on, their ragtag group had grown with other survivors.Most had used their old enhanced gallons to make contact and after many discussions and even frank arguments regarding the wisdom of accepting new people into their sanctuary, they were permitted.Lee Jordan and Angelica Johnson had been the first followed by Justin Finch-Fletchley, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet and Terry Boots.Oliver Wood was the only one who had been found.He had been discovered during one of the group’s surveillance runs into London stealing scraps of food.After extensive questioning, he too was offered a sanctuary.

The newcomers quickly established their place in the resistance.Katie and Alicia both got jobs at the local coffee shop, offsetting the increased cost in food and supplies as the group expanded.Alicia also turned out to be a whiz at charms and often lended a hand with Hermione’s charm research.Justin and Lee worked closely with George developing explosive powders and devices that would be used for the upcoming battles.Terry turned out to have a green thumb and his timing was impeccable.Multiple species in Neville’s potion garden were maturing and needed frequent attention.Angel’s trumpet, Dittany, Moonseed and Fanged Geranium all were due to be harvested during the next full moon. 

Oliver Wood despite their initial reluctance had turned out to be the most valuable of the newcomers.He was able to provide a goldmine of information regarding the new regimen.He had been playing for the Puddlemere United prior to Voldemort’s takeover and was the only one who had lived in the Wizarding World after the violent change in power.It was this fact as well as that George and Seamus had stumbled across him, not been contacted by him like the other new members, that had originally created suspicion.Dean, Hannah and Susan were very reluctant to let him stay at first, concerned he was actually a spy for the Death Eaters despite his insistence otherwise. However, after Oliver’s horrific story, confirmed by Hermione’s new legilimency skill coupled with his pleading, he was allowed to remain with the resistance.Dean kept a close eye on him at the beginning but soon even he could tell that Oliver was genuinely on their side. 

Oliver painted a picture of tyranny and brutality.The strong bullied the weak and the elite few ran roughshod over the rest of the British Wizarding World.Oliver had tried to remain unnoticed when Voldemort took over the Ministry of Magic.He admitted he had been too scared to do anything else.He continued to show up to Quidditch practice, eat dinner at the same pub and then go home.Wood was a pure-blood so he had hoped if he did not draw attention to himself that he would be able to survive.It had worked for a while, but eventually his previous connection to Harry Potter had been brought to the attention of the authority by a fellow player who was anxious to improve his own standing.

Oliver was eventually brought in for questioning.He had been able to truthfully claim ignorance regarding the whereabouts of the renegade members of Dumbledore’s Army.However, he had been unable to stomach the brutal tasks he was ordered to perform to prove his loyalty.Luckily, he was branded a simple minded jock who just needed to be taught his place rather than killed outright.He was stripped of his job and belongings and left to fend for himself on the streets.Witches and wizards who had shared drinks with him, even those he previously considered friends now stared right through him.Their eyes slipping over his bruised malnourished body, willfully ignoring his plight.He had been banished to the dregs of society.

A strict hierarchy had emerged under Voldemort’s rule.Death Eaters ranked first then pure-blooded Wizarding families who swore their loyalty followed by half-bloods who swore allegiance.Those who had pledged their loyalty early ranked higher than those who pledged fidelity well after the tide had turned.Those who had not proven their allegiance were lower on the totem pole but still ranked above squibs.Squibs were now considered to be deformities of magic, to be mocked and abused openly.They were given the worst of the available jobs such as sweeping the streets and picking up the trash and worked only for food. Squibs were not allowed to eat inside, sleep inside or consort with magical folk.However, their relationship with a pure-blood line saved them from the collection of horrors that muggleborns were subject to.

All muggleborns were considered property now. The idea that had started with Dolores Umbridge had been expanded.Oliver had described in depth the muggleborn handouts which had been widely distributed after Voldemort’s coup.The handouts stated that Muggleborns were an abomination who had not only stolen magic but had been corrupted by magic since they did not have the proper blood that allowed them to contain and control the magic.It was necessary not only to round them up to keep them from causing harm but to reeducate them.The gory details were glossed over but it was stated that once they were freed from the corrupting influence of their stolen magic, they would understand their place, which was to serve those who were born into magic.Just as cows are property of the farmer, muggles and muggleborns were now considered property to pure-blooded wizards and witches. 

It was hard to decide which of the new laws were the most offensive.Bounties were offered for muggleborns and it was punishable by death to hide or assist a muggleborn.It was not only permissible but all were encouraged to own muggleborn and muggle slaves.The ministry even offered monetary incentives for the fine wizarding families who fulfilled their duties by helping the muggleborn accept their rightful place in society.

It wasn’t just muggles and muggleborn suffering under the new regime.Anyone considered to be loyal to Dumbledore or the Order was quickly weeded out.The more powerful were simply murdered and displayed in Diagon Alley as a reminder of the importance of loyalty.The small offenders were merely kicked out of their houses and lost their jobs, their property dispensed to the loyal Death Eaters.If the offending wizard or witch was lucky, they would be able to get a job sweeping up one of the new bars or brothels that had began popping up all over Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade or another menial task that paid only a few sickles a week. 

The Ministry Aurors had been highly scrutinized and to remain with the Ministry, tests of loyalty were required.Oliver had overhead an Auror refuse to beat an elderly wizard for not bowing down to the Death Eaters and he had been promptly beaten himself by his supposed colleagues.It had taken a month or two but now all the Ministry Aurors were nothing more than glorified thugs for Voldemort, headed by a group of five Death Eaters officially known as the purity guardian counsel.They acted as the secret police. Whispers from the alleys and in back rooms referred to them as the Counsel. They whisked wizards and witches away who were deemed dangerous to the Dark Lord’s new regime, to never be seen again. Corruption had slithered in far too quickly.The Department of Magical Law Enforcement had been relegated to pushing paperwork around and the Wizengamot had been all but dissolved.Under the guidance of Voldemort and the Counsel, the Death Eaters and Ministry Aurors now served as both judge and executioner.

The Death Eaters and other loyal supporters of Voldemort had taken prominent positions in the Ministry.Some departments had very little change, such as the Department of Magical Games and Sports and the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.However, the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had undone significant changes and all treaties with creatures were now considered null and void.The goblins were forced to continue working at Gringotts by force.The saving grace in the Ministry takeover was that most of the Death Eaters were more interested in drinking, gambling and fucking rather than managing a department which allowed an amount of small resistance to be hidden under the layers of supposed bureaucracy.

Over six months had passed since that fateful night at Hogwarts when Hermione gathered the depleted crew of the Dumbledore’s Army in the living room to discuss battle plans.They had all been training hard and were growing restless. 

Terry, Justin and Seamus were involved in a rousing game of exploding snap when Hermione walked into the room but almost instantly, the room quieted. 

“I have run the arithmancy calculations.”Hermione said grimly, getting straight to the point.“I think the only way to have a chance of winning is fighting a guerrilla war rather than an obvious offensive.”

George cocked his head at Hermione in confusion.“We’re going to fight with gorillas?”Despite the severity of the situation, Hermione couldn’t help but laugh out loud.Luna, Oliver, Neville and Angelia also looked bewildered but the rest of the group joined Hermione in laughter.

“No, no.It’s a muggle expression.It means we are going to fight a shadow war.They are too powerful to take on directly.Instead, we’ll wreck havoc on their supplies and attack them where they are vulnerable.”Dean explained. 

“We’ll take them out one by one.” Hermione stated, her expression uncharacteristically dark. 

Whoops of excitement filled the living room and Lee pulled out a bottle of vodka that he had obviously swiped during his last reconnaissance trip. 

“Let’s celebrate!”Lee conjured glasses for everyone.“To Dumbledore’s Army!”Dean shouted.“To the resistance!” 

It didn’t take long before the whole lot of them were smashed.Even Hermione had indulged and the night took on a blurry quality.The nervous tension faded and for a brief moment they were swept away by hope. The loud enthusiasm soon faded into declarations of love and friendship.Hermione’s vision grew fuzzy but in her bubble of alcohol and aspiration, she briefly felt content. In the first time in many months, Hermione had a plan, a purpose more than just untethered training.She felt like some sort of future for her that didn’t involve living in the shadows could in fact be possible.

Hours later, after everyone else had either passed out or left for more private quarters, Hermione stood quietly looking out the window.She was still clinging onto the hope that had taken seed in her heart as she watched the sun begin to peak over the frost covered motorway.The flurries of snowflakes danced under the streetlights only to disappear again in the dark shadows below the road.It would soon be Christmas. 

Christmas came and went without much fanfare.Everyone was focused on the upcoming raids and planning but they all had agreed to take a break for the holiday.The mood was somber, as this was the first Christmas for most without their families.However, Luna had insisted they celebrate and Hermione had to admit it was good for their morale and helped divert their thoughts from missing their loved ones.Luna decorated a small tree, Lee swiped a couple of bottles of wine to go with the Yorkshire pudding and turkey that Katie had brought home.George had even charmed several garden gnomes to sing Christmas songs.Very small trinkets were exchanged, they had no money or need for more.Despite all the horrors of the current situation, Hermione thought, the night was filled with love. This tiny little rebel group had become her family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendations 
> 
> Dark Cloud is Coming  
> by Moby


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "First they came for the socialists  
> And I did not speak out because   
> I was not a socialist.
> 
> Then they came for the trade unionist  
> And I did not speak out because   
> I was not a trade unionist.
> 
> Then they came for the Jews  
> And I did not speak out because   
> I was not a Jew.
> 
> And then they came for me and there  
> Was no one left to speak for me."
> 
> Pastor Martin Niemoller

Snape groaned as the light filtered through his window.His back and neck ached from passing out in the chair.The memories from the night before were blurry, but the throbbing pain in his hand brought back a fractured memory of whiskey and glass.“Fuck!”He brushed his greasy hair out of his face, ignoring his protesting nerves.He summoned a hangover potion as he continued to grasp at flickers of memories from last night.Drinking himself into oblivion did not appear to be working.He kept waking up in the morning, worse for wear and still burdened by his existence. 

The Dark Lord had been surprisingly accommodating to his new goal of achieving constant intoxication.He was still treated with the uttermost respect by all.He was occasionally summoned for assistance with potions at the Ministry of Magic and for inner circle meetings but for the most part, he was left alone with his misery.

Unfortunately, today he had been instructed to go to the Ministry of Magic.A wave of shame swept through him as Severus downed the hangover potion and slowly rose.He was a coward of the highest degree.He continued to play the role of the consummate Death Eater just to save his own skin.He methodically stripped off his clothes before getting into the shower.The water was so hot, it almost scalded his skin.He washed his lacerated hand, watching the water turn pink as it swirled into the drain.The feeling of shame and uncleanliness intensified.Snape continued to scrub himself until his knuckles were raw before finally getting out and putting on his black robes to leave his ill gained manor. 

He had stopped for coffee and a pastry at Hogsmeade before apparating to the Ministry but he only took a couple of bites of his pastry before he tossed it aside.Everything seemed to taste like sawdust.He idly wondered exactly when was the last time he had eaten more than a couple of bites. _A few weeks, maybe?_ It vaguely concerned him that he really wasn’t bothered by this fact. He took a big swallow of his black coffee and winced, the bitter liquid causing his stomach to churn. 

He walked slowly to the Ministry’s main entrance which had become far grander since the Dark Lord’s accession into power.The shiny white walls gleamed in the sunlight. Security had become increasing tight and long lines to pass through the checkpoint were currently snaking around the corner.Snape barely glanced at the crowd of Ministry employees as he walked to the front of the line but he was struck by how balefully normal everything seemed.He overheard snippets of conversation about the new anticipated unauthorized biography of Victor Krum, future plans for the summer holidays and even one witch’s tale of her woeful first date.How easy it was for everyone to pretend as long as it didn’t directly affect them.He strolled through security without stopping, cutting right in front of a portly gentleman verifying his position in the Ministry’s expanded floo monitoring division.No one said a word to him.The security wizard just nodded and the other wizard bowed his head. 

In his much younger years, how he would have longed for such easy acceptance and respect in the Wizarding World.Now it just made him feel ill.He hurried quickly to the elevator and took it down to the Department of Mysteries.He had never supplied potions to this department before.In the past, it had just been Vertiaserum for the Aurors.

The doors opened and a disembodied female voice announced his arrival to the Department of Mysteries.He was greeted by a long corridor of smooth black walls, a direct contrast with the pure white walls of the Ministry’s exterior.

“It’s about time.I assume you don’t keep the Dark Lord waiting like this.”Bellatrix’s voice cut through the empty hallway. 

Snape ignored her rhetorical question and turned toward the open door.Bellatrix stood in the doorway scowling at him.

“I was informed by the Dark Lord that you needed my assistance.”Snape emphasized the last word, knowing how much it must grate her nerves to require his help.He swept into the room without a second glance at her. 

He stood in a large chamber that was barren other than a potion workbench at the back of the room and five metal tables in the center.The whole area was harshly light by large torches mounted on the stone walls and his footsteps echoed loudly on the metallic floor as he walked toward the potion area.He pointedly ignored the chains attached to the tables that swayed and clicked ominously as he walked past. 

An eclectic collection of potion ingredients greeted him at the workbench as well as one large silver cauldron.He turned back to Bellatrix and let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“Are you planning on letting me in on your plan or should I just brew a potion of my choice?”

“I still don’t trust you.” 

“Are you saying the Dark Lord is wrong?”Snape said, his voice dangerously soft.“That I have hoodwinked the greatest Wizard of all time but only you know the truth.Are you implying you know better than our exalted leader?”

Mulciber and Rookwood who had entered the room while he was taking inventory of the potion supplies looked on at them excitedly, undoubtedly hoping for a fight. 

Bellitrix glared at him angrily.“My loyalty has never been doubted, unlike yours.”

Snape let out a low chuckle.“I don’t believe that was the question.”

Bellitrix face twisted with poorly concealed rage.She couldn’t disparage his loyalty without directly contradicting Voldemort.That crazy bitch would never trust him but even she wasn’t suicidal enough to do that. 

“I misspoke.”Bellitrix said, her face looking as if she had swallowed a lemon. 

Snape just raised his eyebrow in response and waited for her to enlighten him why he was in the bowels of the Ministry rather than drowning his sorrows with Firewhisky. 

“We need a modified sedation potion.The standard potion does not meet our needs.”Rockwood stated, his tone not quite hiding his disappointment that there would be no fighting today.

“The dirty Mudbloods die before we are done with playing with them.”Mulciber added crudely, grinning widely, his misshapen teeth making his smile lopsided. 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”Snape replied.“I can brew all manners of sedative potions.”

Bellitrix continued to glower at him but after several seconds begrudging began to speak.“We are attempting to extract the magic from those filthy creatures.If they are not sedated enough, they die too quickly during our procedures but when we increased the dosage, they just died immediately.”

Snape sighed.He suspected they needed Mors Viventium but he needed to be sure.It was extremely time consuming and complex potion, only the best of the Potion Masters could even brew it successfully.The base was easy enough as it was just the Draught of Living Death but the subsequent modifications and extra ingredients made it both fickle and very volatile.It also required two rare ingredients, which were in short supply at the best of times. 

“Before I waste my time brewing the wrong potion, I still need more information.What type of procedures are you conducting?I need to know exactly what stresses to their body you are causing.It’s important to know what physical maladies the sedative potion will be suppressing.Potion making is an exact science, unlike whatever you seem to be attempting here.”Snape did not bother to hide the disgust in his voice. 

“Oh get off your high horse Snape.”Rockwood snapped.“Just because we’re not Potion Masters doesn’t mean we’re dumb.We are doing important research into the magical origins in Mudbloods.”

“So we can crush it out of these dirty animals.Unlike you, my dear Severus, we don’t mind getting our hands dirty. “Bellitrix said mockingly.

Snape just stared evenly at her, waiting. 

Bellitrix snapped her fingers.“Mulciber, bring out the last body for our esteemed professor to examine.”

Mulciber soon returned, levitating a bloody white bag in front of him.He plopped it down on the nearest table and gestured toward Snape.“He’s all yours.”

Snape strengthened his occulmency shields, preparing for whatever horror lay inside. 

“Diffindo!”

The bag split open, spilling out its contents on the table.It barely resembled a human anymore.His face was mangled before recognization, which he considered a small favor.He had no chance of knowing who this wizard was before he had been reduced to this bloody mess of bones and charred flesh. Bile rose into his throat as he caught sight of the victim’s small clenched fist. _Gods, how old was this wizard?_

His vision blurred and he bit his tongue hard, tasting blood. He pretended to continue to examine the body as the blood pooled in his mouth.He had to keep it together. _But why?Did he really want to live in this nightmare?_

Hermione’s voice came unbidden in his head.“Don’t give up now, you bastard!”He had to do something, he couldn’t just continue to numb his pain and delude himself.He had to stop this evil. 

Rookwood interrupted his musing.“We have decided not to do any more experiments until we have a better sedative agent.As much as we enjoy torturing Mudbloods, Umbridge wants results and we aren’t going to get any without a better sedative.We don’t want to run out of testing animals.”He gave Snape a leer. 

“You need Mors Viventium.It will not be easy to brew.”Snape stated.“The process alone takes over a month and I will need a large quantity of both Acromantula venom and powdered roots of Asphodel as well as 15 fairy wings per potion.” 

Rockwood blanched in response.“Umbridge wants us to resume testing as soon as possible.She will be most unpleased if we have to wait a month.”

“A month and a half.”Snape replied, matter of factly.“Assuming we can even obtain the needed quantities of such rare ingredients.” 

Belltrix’s lip curled up with a sneer.“You say this is the potion we need.You say it will take over a month.How do I know you’re not just playing us for a fool?”

Snape stared at here in response.“I thought we had already cleared up this little disagreement.Merlin knows, the Dark Lord has made his views abundantly clear.”He paused, letting his words sink in.“Though certainly, I don’t mind enlightening those who are rather slow to comprehend the message.” 

Rookwood and Mulciber shifted uncomfortably as Bellitrix continued to glare at him. 

“You must have a research library somewhere in this department.”Snape said slowly, as if to placate a toddler.

“In the back of this hall.”Rookwood said. 

“Then by all means.”Snape gestured for them to lead the way. 

Rockwood lead them down the glossy black hallway to the furthest door on the right.The door opened to a dusty library that obviously had not been used in some time.

“Accio _Most Potente Potions Expert Edition_.”

A large green leather bound book came sailing from the corner of the room.Snape grabbed it and flipped to the index. 

“Mors Viventium, page 394.”He turned to the appropriate page and shoved it harshly in Belltrix’s face. 

Bellitrix frowned but took the book.Her frown deepened as she read the instructions. 

“This potion would definitely work for our needs.However, 6 weeks is a long time to wait.”

“Isn’t there something faster?”Mulciber said.“I can’t believe this is our only option.”

Snape raised his eyebrows at Mulciber.“By all means, feel free to research additional potions.When you have exhausted your options, please let me know so I can start brewing.”

“All right.This is the potion we need.You must get started today.”Bellitrix ordered. 

“I can start on the base today, though not here.”

“Why not?”Rockwood asked. 

“This is an extremely volatile potion, any speck of dust can cause an explosion once the Acromantula venom is added.Your potion’s lab lacks the protection and atmospheric charms needed.”

“I want to be able to keep an eye on you."Bellitrix said.“Just cast the charms on our lab and get moving.” 

“Proper casting will take an additional month.”Snape said.He shoved the potion book under her face.“Feel free to confirm this.I’m sure the Dark Lord wouldn’t mind waiting.”

Bellitrix flipped through the book for several minutes, confirming his statement before tossing it angrily to the side.“Fine!But I will be checking on you frequently.I expect results.”

Snape looked disparagingly at her.“I seem to have missed the memo where I work for you.My loyalty is to the Dark Lord.Don’t worry, I will keep him abreast to my progress.”

Snape didn’t wait for a response.He just turned around and walked rapidly out of the room, his cloak billowing behind him.However, before he reached the elevator, he looked back at the three Death Eaters.“I expect you to obtain the needed ingredients.I will need the Acromantula venom in three weeks and the fairy wings in five weeks.The Dark Lord will be most put out if I have to start all over again because of lack of the proper ingredients.” 

“Where the bloody hell are we supposed to find that amount of fairy wings.”Mulciber replied. 

“I don’t believe that is my problem.”Snape said as the elevator door closed.As the disembodied female voice announced his departure from the Department of Ministries, Snape took a deep breath.This was his chance.It was time to stop wallowing in his misery.It was time for sabotage. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation 
> 
> Blood//Water  
> by granson


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Count my cards, watch them fall  
> Blood on a marble wall  
> I like the way they all   
> Scream  
> Tell me which one is worse   
> Living or dying first  
> Sleeping inside a hearse  
> I don't dream
> 
> You say  
> Come over baby  
> I think you're pretty  
> I'm okay  
> I'm not your baby  
> If you think I'm pretty
> 
> You should see me in a crown  
> I'm gonna run this nothing town  
> Watch me make 'em bow  
> One by one by one  
> One by one by  
> You should see me in a crown  
> Your silence is my favorite sound  
> Watch me make 'em bow  
> One by one by one  
> One by one by one
> 
> You Should See Me in a Crown   
> by Billie Eilish

The excitement in the air was palpable. Their surveillance had finally been able to gather enough data regarding the movements and plans of the Death Eaters and their new political regimen to move forward with attacks. The first targets of Dumbledore’s Army would be supply chains into the Ministry of Magic.The potions and potion ingredients made a relatively easy mark and the loss would hit Voldemort’s ministry hard.Hermione often wondered why they were even bothering to import so many potions when they had a readily available Potions Master. She suspected that it was because he was too ill to make the potions or he had decided to take a more active role in the violence of the new regimen.She quickly pushed the thoughts out of her head, she didn’t like either of the answers.The secondary and more complicated targets would be important Death Eaters, especially those who were now playing politicians as well.Hermione was determined to plan for every contingency so there were plan B and Cs and for one tricky mission even a plan G.

It was decided that while their current location in Ireland would be great for a safe house, it was too far to effectively apparate back in an emergency.They would need another base for their operations for their missions.Luckily it turned out that Terry Boots was a history buff and he suggested the Camden Catacombs. A group of Dumbledore’s army would rotate through London, carry out their planned missions and then return to Dublin.Their skills were all matched and three teams were formed. 

The first attacks on the potion supplies and incoming shipments had been a success.Over the next several weeks, the resistance attacks grew bolder.George, Terry and Seamus had blown up an entire warehouse supply of veritaserum and other truth enhancing potions bound for the Ministry.They had also started targeting Death Eaters.It was hard to find them alone and unprotected but that became easier after Hannah and Susan had tricked a drunk and horny Death Eater into revealing the Ministry Auror schedule for the next month.

Camden Catacombs slowly took on character though each makeshift room was shared by the at least two people from the other teams.Each witch or wizard had a few pictures and knick knacks, marking their corner, but the living space was small.George had not wanted to risk using excessive magic in the heart of London so it was built for functionally not comfort.A long wooden table and a couple of tattered couches were the only furniture in the main room. 

There were two prominent features in the barren room.One was a wall with pictures of all the targeted Death Eaters with scorched ward marks crossing off those that had been killed.Lord Voldemort was in the middle next to Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange though they were not current targets.They were too high up, too protected and honestly too talented at this time for Dumbledore’s Army to stand a chance. The second was a small corner with dozens of candles, charmed to never go out, commemorating those they had lost.

Despite the gradual thaw of winter, the nights were still cold, especially in the bowels of the catacombs. Due to the their proximity to the enemies stronghold, only small magical spells were allowed.They could not risk drawing attention to their London base and the alert was already high following their two successful raids last week on the London bound trains carrying rare magical supplies meant for the new regimen.Everyone had cast a warming spell on themselves before going to sleep but it was already wearing off by the time the fiercest cold seeped though into their damp sleeping quarters.The mist of every breath clung to the frigid air as Hermione lay awake, thinking about the upcoming attack, unable to sleep.

Her excitement about the upcoming sabotage scared Hermione.She wanted to cause damage and destruction.She wanted to make them suffer.Years ago, she had wondered why Sirus and Lupin almost committed murder that fateful night during her 3rd year.Now, she marveled that they had been able to restrain themselves.Given the same situation now, it was unlikely she would be able to show the same control.Did that mean she was broken beyond repair.She felt that a monster had been awoken inside her and she doubted that it would go quietly back into a box when the war was over.If she was honest with herself, that scared her almost more than Voldemort himself.She sighed and stared at the candles, flickering haunting against the stone wall in the cold of midnight. Sleep would not come tonight. 

The next morning was gray and the clouds were heavy with impeding rain.Hermione, Dean and Neville took extra care with their disillusionment charms as they prepared for the upcoming raid.The charms had to be layered with a mirror charm so that the rain appeared to be falling inside the void their bodies created, otherwise they would be easily spotted.Their target today was two lower level ministry employees who were helping Voldemort compile his list of all muggleborns, including those who had yet to even display any hint of magical inclination.The list of muggleborns who had attended previously attended Hogwarts was unfortunately public record.Any muggleborn who had completed any ministry application (whether it be an application for immigration to England, a marriage documentation or even registration for a new wand) were also easily accessible to anyone who worked at the Ministry.However, it took great skill in Arithmancy as well as Charms to predict which muggles would eventually show magical skill.There were only twelve wizards and three witches who held an advanced mastery of both Arithmancy and Charms in England and out of those fifteen, only these two wizards were actively supporting Voldemort’s agenda.All of the rest had fled or been killed.

Oliver Wood had first brought the news that Voldemort was trying to exterminate all muggles that had the potential for magic before they even showed any signs.He had overheard the two ministry employees in question discussing it after a few too many pints at his local pub.He had been appalled but at the time had been too concerned with his own survival to give it too much thought.Wood had only seen the two ministry employees at the pub once. Hermione presumed that they had been reprimanded for lax operational security. 

Prejudice against muggleborns was regrettably common in the English Wizarding World, even before Voldemort achieved his coup though Hermione had been shielded at Hogwarts from the worst of it.The fears of the public were easy to twist into intolerance for the muggleborn.Muggleborns didn’t understand the Wizarding world, they were more likely to endanger them given their previous association with muggles.Muggleborns took away resources that rightfully should go to purebloods.Muggleborns encouraged the dilation of their magical blood and would lead to the end of the Wizarding world.The theory that muggleborns stole magic was a baseless theory that was given credence by many because the magical core was so poorly understood.Why did some families give birth to squibs while others continued to produce extra powerful witches and wizards.Muggleborns created a lot of unanswered questions.If muggles could end up giving birth to a witch or wizard, what made those with known magical blood special.It was easy to twist these questions into fear.Fear that muggleborns threatened the magical world.It had been far too easy for Voldemort to continue to twist that fear into intolerance and then into hatred.However, it would be harder for the public to accept the extermination of young children, even muggle children.

Truthfully without Wood’s fortuitous eavesdropping, Dumbledore’s Army would have never known.Given the secrecy of the program, there had been no mention of it in the Daily Prophet and no gossip about it at the usual pubs and other less reputable establishments that the resistance spies frequented for information.They had been skimming the muggle newspapers but most of the children were so young, their deaths had been attributed to sudden infant death syndrome.Hermione remembered briefly scanning a detailed article two months ago in the Irish Times about the rise in these type of deaths and the importance of placing babies back to sleep but she had completely missed the connection.

Neville, Dean and Hermione remained hidden in a tiny alley for almost an hour in the rain before they appeared.Despite the overall gloomy day, the wizards were laughing and talking as they walked to their usual shop for lunch.The impotent rage flared inside her.The list these two wizards had complied was being used to hunt, kidnap and murder muggleborns not even old enough to speak.She wanted to make them pay.The magic sparked in her veins and a red haze of anger clouded her vision.She moved as if on auto pilot.

“Sectumsempra!” Hermione didn’t hesitate, her wand slashed downward, leaving a gaping wound in the first wizard’s neck. Blood spurted from his neck and Hermione felt his warm blood splatter on her face.She looked down, emotionless as he clutched helplessly, unable to stanch the bleeding.His eyes were full of fear but she couldn’t muster an ounce of pity for this despicable excuse for a human.He tried to talk but just gurgled weakly instead as his airway filled with blood.He slumped down to the floor, each breath harsher and harder to obtain. “Sectumsempra!Sectumsempra!”Hermione uttered the spell again and again like a prayer, slicing new cuts in his torso and abdomen.His bright red blood pouring freely onto the cobblestone. 

Then it was over.Dean and Neville had to pull her back, so frantic and lost in anger, she had not even noticed that the two targets were now dead.They apparated back to Camden and Hermione withdrew immediately from the boys.She knew they were concerned, but their presence made her claustrophobic.

“I need to go.”Neville placed his hand on her shoulder to calm her but Hermione shrugged it off.“I wouldn’t be gone for long.I’ll be careful, I promise.”The apprehension in Neville’s eyes was apparent but he begrudging nodded in understanding. 

She closed her eyes and apparated quickly away.The dizziness and nausea was always worse with long trips and Hermione’s head spun as she landed roughly on the barren cliff.She had come here as a child with her parents, to the Cliffs of Moher.It had been a special trip, celebrating her admission into Hogwarts.Tears streaked down her blood stained face at the memory.The wind was fierce this high up though she barely noticed the sting on her face.She missed her parents, her friends, but what she missed most was her sense of control.Currently the world was out of control, she was out of control. 

She stood frozen staring out into the darkness, listening to the waves crash loudly against the cliff as the ball of her conflicting emotions tumbled inside her.The anger was eating her up inside. The wind blew fiercely around her, whipping her hair into knots, like a vengeful dark angel. She could feel the darkness staining her soul.She was becoming a monster. 

Hermione sobbed uncontrollably as she sank to her knees, ignoring the rough ground that dug into her skin.The hours passed and she remained, her tears seemed never ending.She didn’t know how long she stayed on the cliffs but the black night was slowly turning gray by the time she had composed herself.Slowly she brushed the dirt off her robes and took one last deep breath of fresh cool air before apparating back to Camden.

Neville and Dean were visible relieved when she returned.She took a shower and joined them for dinner.No one mentioned the raid.They ate their meal mostly in silence interrupted only by Neville and Dean making stilted conversion about the upcoming weather.Hermione claimed a headache after dinner and went immediately to bed.However, sleep again did not come.She tossed and turned for hours, trying to ignore the anxiety clawing at heart.She finally fell into a restless sleep in the early morning. 

Over the next several months, they developed a routine.Hermione had perfected her Occlumency shields during raids and had not lost control again.Neville and Dean no longer watched her with concern when they thought she wasn’t looking.Their sabotage was more successful than they could have ever imagined.The next several months went by quickly.They had been successful in disrupting vital potion supply routes, destroyed three ministry warehouses and had assassinated multiple low level Death Eaters.

However, it was becoming more and more difficult to find easy targets.The Death Eaters and the new Ministry were cruel but not stupid.The supply routes for imported and exported magical goods had become better protected.The important Death Eater and Ministry employees now all had body guards.Even the low level targets were mindful not to travel alone or in locations where they were more vulnerable to attack.Each mission was requiring more and more risk to be successful.Out of necessity, Dumbledore’s Army had started running some sole missions, especially for assassinations.It was risky but also their best chance of success. 

Hermione had been watching the same corner for three hours, dimly aware that her legs were beginning to cramp.He was supposed to be here today.As she waited, she couldn’t help but remember how shiny and bright Diagon Alley had looked years ago when she first laid eyes on it.Now, it was a different story.Diagon Alley was a shadow of its former self, neglected and dirty.The glitzy advertisers and flashing magical signs failed to hide the seedy underbelly of the new prominent businesses.Most of the previous occupants were long gone.However, only several stores remained boarded up, most had been hasty undergone a makeover to advertise their new wares.Hermione doubted that any of the new owners had acquired their properties respectably.Sparkling red lights on her right touted the best whores in all of London while the store on her left promised bargain mudbloods and muggles for sale. 

A loud noise startled her and she turned quickly, tensed immediately for a fight.However, it was just two drunk wizards throwing punches outside of the most popular new bar.Apparently they were too far gone to even remember their wands.A crowd of jeering faces surrounded them, encouraging the bloodshed.The shorter blond wizard, his complexion ruddy with drink, stumbled back and hit his head on the faded striped post that was all that remained of the previous joke shop before slumping to the ground.The victor crowed loudly to the crowd before tripping over his own two feet and landing ass up on the crumbling cobblestone.Loud laughter from the crowd followed but soon they had all dispersed again, leaving the alley unnervingly quiet. 

Hermione shifted her position again.She was well hidden behind the spare whiskey barrels with the strongest disillusionment spell she knew but she still had to be careful about excessive movements.Idly she watched a brown mouse sniff cautiously around a discarded piece of bread near her.Bright black eyes stared back at her and regarded her suspiciously before turning back its meal.Suddenly, a ragged ear cat jumped out from behind the trash can and snatched up the mouse who was only able to let out a tiny squeak before the life died in its eyes.Hermione felt herself tearing up. _I’m being ridiculous._ She thought.Here she was about to assassinate a wizard and she was crying over a dead mouse.She was sure if she consulted a psychiatrist they would say that she was just transferring her fears and her losses to the dead animal.However, it was more than that.That life was so fragile and could be snuffed out in the blink of an eye was terrifying.That she was responsible for taking lives, regardless of how evil those lives were was also frightening.What did it make her? 

She was about to give up and try again tomorrow, when she caught a glimpse of her intended target.He had been on their radar for weeks.He was the head of the muggle reeducation unit.A fancy title that tried to sugarcoat the reality.That they were taking muggleborn and putting them in torture camps until them were deemed compliant enough to serve as slaves.If they didn’t meet their quota that month, they would often kidnap muggles.The majority of the female slaves were sent to the whorehouses, while the most of the males were set to the equivalent of magical work camps.She had wondered why they tried to hide the reality at all when it was well known what was going on.However, she realized that it was easier for the average witches and wizards to overlook the atrocities if they could pretend.It made it easier to turn a blind eye. 

Hermione readied herself, gripping tighter to her wand as the wizard came into full view.She would need a clear shot.A flash of movement behind her caught her attention.She turned, wand drawn but before she could utter a sound, a shape came rushing toward her face and suddenly everything went dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended song
> 
> You Should See Me in a Crown  
> by Billie Eilish


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The debt I owe,  
> gotta sell my soul  
> 'Cause I can't say no  
> No, I can't say no."
> 
> "Bury a Friend"  
> by Billie Eilish
> 
> Trigger Warning: Rape

It had been a long and hard winter, though with Severus Snape’s subversion, not a single vial of Mors Viventium had been completed.It had been surprisingly easy to gain information regarding the potion supply routes and crucial Ministry warehouses. He had Imperiused a few Ministry employees working for the Potion Trade Association during a routine visit to the Department of International Magical Cooperation to inquire about importation of a Class B substance. However, it had been much harder to find someone in the resistance to give that information.Officially, within the first three months anyone not pledging their loyalty to Voldemort had been purged from magical society, but whispers in dark corners implied there were still pockets of rebellion.Snape had been determined to find them. 

Snape had begun to panic by the end of the second week of brewing.He hadn’t been able to detect any disloyal citizens and had started considering sabotaging the supply chain himself despite the enormous risk.It was imperative that both of the rare ingredients were unobtainable so he could not finish his potion.

Desperate, he accompanied his fellow Death Eaters to the newest whorehouse in hopes that someone would reveal themselves.Severus was already regretting his decision and his stomach clenched as he noticed the chains on their ankles.Lucius gave him a predatory grin as he looked over the available Muggle and Muggleborn whores.

“They aren’t quite broken in yet.”Lucius said, noticing his line of vision.“Personally I like a little extra fight.Though I know you prefer them more docile.” 

The mocking tone was obvious but Snape just grunted in response, pretending to be admiring the goods.Peter Pettigrew on the other hand, let out a loud wheezing laugh at the elder Malfoy’s comment.Lucius’ expression became pained.Pettigrew was seen as just a dirty little self serving rat by most Death Eaters and Lucius was embarrassed to be seen with him.However, Peter had insisted on tagging along and since Pettigrew was currently in the Dark Lord’s good graces, it wasn’t politically wise to exclude him..And Lucius was nothing if not an astute politician. 

Lucius put his arm around Snape’s shoulder.“So Severus, my old friend, which slut strikes your fancy?There’s a pretty little redhead on left.I know how fond you are of redheads.”

Malfoy was trying to get a rise out of him but Snape would be damned if he took the bait. 

“Actually I find myself in the mood for the girl on the right.”

Lucius clapped his back in response.“Well I have to admit the ass on that one is fantastic.If you’re passing on the redhead, I think I’ll take her.”He grabbed her chain and pulled her forcefully toward the back. 

Pettigrew had already selected a brown haired girl with giant tits and was leading her away to his assigned room.He was pathetic, drooling over the girl, his puny erection poking out of his robes.The girl looked frightened but Severus was reassured that at least it would be over quickly for her.Pettigrew had little self control and at this rate would come in his pants before he even got to the room.

The matron handed him the chains to his chosen women and he walked slowly back to his room.The room was sparsely furnished, just a bed, some chain hooks on the wall and a window.Snape’s stomach rolled as he realized just why this whorehouse was popular.It catered to the more violent sexual urges.Those disgusting wizards who found their pleasure in beating helpless women and taking them against their will.At least the other whorehouses, the whores pretended to want them.Here, their resistance was part of the appeal. The women he had chosen was standing in front of him, cringing and waiting for the expected violence.He turned his wand on her and she flinched.He nonverbally cast a spell of his own creation and she sank slowly to the floor.He warded the doors and swept once over for spying devices before picking her up and setting her on the bed. _This had been a stupid idea._ He was no closer to finding any resistance and every time he did something like this, he invited risk.He just couldn’t take her against her will. 

Cursing silently, he looked out the window that overlooked Diagon Alley.Though it no longer resembled the Diagon Alley he remembered.It had turned into a seedy red-light distract. Snape looked at his watch.He had a half an hour, before she would wake. _Merlin, he needed a drink._ He watched the wizards pass outside the window as he reviewed his options for sabotage.Then, he noticed a tiny shimmer in the corner of the bar across the street.His heart leapt.Finally, proof that the resistance wasn’t just a rumor. 

At least this night's outing hadn’t been a waste of time.His Imperiused Ministry of Magic employees would be feeling thirsty tomorrow night.And after some Firewhisky, they were bound to be talkative.Snape smirked.It was the perfect way to pass on information to the resistance with no chance of discovery.

The following night, after a several loud conservations, Snape was sure that the resistance had overheard all the necessary information about the Ministry of Magic’s potion supply chain to launch an attack.He didn't have to wait long and if he was honest, he was impressed. The first two strikes destroyed all of country’s supply of fairy wings and the third strike on the Ministry storage warehouse had wiped out all Acromantula venom. 

However, despite the lack of critical ingredients, Snape had been tasked with brewing Mors Viventium all the same.Umbridge had been livid when he had informed her that without fairy wings and Acromantula venom, he would be unable to complete the potion.She ranted and raved for a hour at him about the importance of her work and how he was directly interfering with her goals to exterminate the filthy Mudbloods before Snape had finally had enough.He calmly handed her the same Potion book he had shown Bellatrix and informed her that he was not able to complete it without the required ingredients. 

“Those dunderheads need to get the ingredients.I can only work with what I have.”Snape said. _Gods, did she really think the ingredients were optional?How had she ever passed Potions?_

Umbridge’s face turned a vile shade of green clashing with her disgusting bright pink robes when she finally comprehended that it was impossible to brew Mors Viventium without the lacking fairy wings and Acromantula venom.She had insisted he continue to brew and she would supply the ingredients before stomping off to yell at some other Ministry employee. 

Thus Severus Snape was now hot and irritable as the noxious steam from his cauldrons filled the room, wasting his time completing the base of a potion that would never been finished.The Ministry of Magic had yet to replete its potion stores after the last attack, so unless the situation drastically changed, the finished potion would end up discarded just like the previous five times.As he stirred counterclockwise, he watched the mixture slowly change color from muddy brown to silver gray, lost in thought.When he laid dying, on the Shrieking Shack floor, in a strange way, he had felt satisfied.He had been sure of his contribution to bring down Voldemort and he had been willing to die for his cause.Now he was aimless, useless.His interference with the potion, was at least delaying the torture of Muggleborns but could he really say he had made a difference.In the end, Voldemort was in control and his sacrifices meant nothing.He followed Dumbledore’s crazy plan in earnest only to watch it all fall apart. 

Suddenly, his Dark Mark burned and Snape hissed involuntarily.It had been a while since Voldemort had called them like this.Now that the Death Eaters ruled the Ministry, there was no need for such theater.This could only mean something very bad or very good.Severus Snape called on his Occlumency shields before casting a stasis charm on his half finished potion.Then he touched his left arm with his wand and Apparated away. 

Snape found himself inside the Ministry, deep in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries.The Ministry of Magic’s security wards had previously prevented all apparition but when Voldemort had taken over, the wards had been adjusted to allow anyone with a Dark Mark to Apparate to Voldemort, even in the Ministry.Snape immediately heard the jeering and jubilant shouts of the other Death Eaters. _This was something very bad_ he thought as he looked around. 

Voldemort sat on a golden throne on a small platform, overlooking the rest of the room which resembled a castle tower.The gray cobblestones on the floor were cracked and dirty and the stone walls encircling the room rose so high he could barely make out the dark ceiling above.The room felt small with all the Death Eaters crammed inside.Though for everyone to fit inside, it actually had to be quite big.The torches that lined the walls were dim and cast shadows on the center of the room which practically obscured the main attraction, a battered witch lying on the floor. 

Severus Snape walked confidently to the Dark Lord to take his assigned spot on his right, with the crowd of Death Eaters parting quickly to allow his passage. 

“My Lord.”Snape bowed his head in greeting. 

Voldemort turned and faced him with a cruel smile.“Severus.” Voldemort said softly. “I thought you could do the honor of breaking her.” 

His insides prickled as he took in the broken girl in front of him.However, his facade never cracked and he leered at the sight of her naked body strewn on the cold floor.“I look forward to it.” 

The girl was so bloodied, he couldn’t tell who she was until Yaxley kicked her toward him.His heart stuttered in his chest as he realized Hermione Granger was the witch awaiting his unwelcome attention.The cloak of apathy that had entangled him for so many months fell away and his righteous anger flooded his senses.It wasn’t enough that he was delaying a potion, he wasn’t doing nearly enough. He had been wallowing in his own misery in the comfort of his gilded cage while this wisp of a young women fought and challenged the world.This young women who saved him despite believing his guilt. 

Voldemort relaxed back in his throne, waiting expectedly as the Death Eaters surrounded him and Hermione.Snape quickly formatted a plan as he strode purposely toward her.Her brown eyes met his and she struggled to her knees.Snape concentrated on maintaining his occlumency shield and not betraying the guilt eating at his heart as he remembered the last time she had meet his eyes.This time, however, her eyes were filled with panic not compassion as she tried to maintain her composure. Making sure his robe hide most of her from sight, Snape hit her hard across the face.Hermione cried out and it was during that brief second that he cast a nonverbal wandless spell, confident that his robes and Hermione’s cry allowed his casting to go undetected by all. 

“You filthy Mudblood.I will take great pleasure in tearing you apart.”His voice echoed in the giant chamber. 

He was much louder than normal for the benefit of the crowd.There was a murmur of excitement from his fellow Death Eaters in anticipation of the events to come.Hermione screamed as he grabbed her roughly and forced her back onto the hard stone floor.He took off his robe methodically and while unfastening his trousers, discreetly cast another nonverbal wandless spell to ensure his ability to perform under these horrific circumstances. 

The crowd of Death Eaters jeered at Hermione lying naked on the ground and shouted vulgar suggestions at Snape.He kicked her legs open and grabbed his hard cock to make an obscene gesture before kneeling over Hermione and jamming himself inside her. 

Snape grunted as he continued to pound into the girl.“So fucking tight.Are you such a Mudblood prude that I am the first one to sample such a tight little cunt.Too bad, you’’ll be so loose after I’m done with you slut.”Snape taunted as the Death Eaters around him continued to mock her debasement. 

Dolohov approached Hermione’s screaming mouth with his cock jutting out lewdly from his trousers.However, Snape quickly shot a stinging hex at him and Dolohov stepped back cursing, his prick now covered in angry red hives.Severus Snape paused and looked at the surrounding Death Eaters with distain. 

“I do NOT share.” 

Voldemort’s hissing laughter startled everyone and Snape paused his vicious thrusting again. 

“My lord?”

“It’s good to see you appreciate my gift.I was worried you were becoming a little too preoccupied with your newfound freedom from Dumbledore.Your unwavering loyalty entitles you to as many whores and as much drink as you could ever want.However, it brings me such joy to see your enthusiasm in the perversion of your former Mudblood student.”

Voldemort turned to his another followers.“No one has shown me such allegiance as Severus Snape.He is my second in command and he has demonstrated that he willing to trade his life for my success.There is no need for him to share.If you are all craving some Mudblood pussy,” Voldemort paused to smirk at Crabbe Sr as he continued “or ass if that’s where your pleasure lies, I suggest you round up more of the resistance so that there will be plenty to go around.”

Dolohov foolishly grumbled under his breath. 

“Crucio!”

Dolohov fell to the floor shrieking in pain as his limbs convulsed. 

“Anyone else want to question my judgment?”Voldemort said his tone dangerously soft. 

The rest of the Death Eaters rushed to kneel in front of him, apologies transversing their lips as Dolohov continued to howl in agony. 

Severus Snape stood up matter of factly, unperturbed that his large hard member covered with blood was still visible to all. He stepped around his kowtowing fellow members and approached Voldemort’s robe.Snape kissed Voldemort on his hand and then kneeled as well in front of him. 

“My Lord, I am extremely grateful for your generosity.I will not disappoint you and I intend to break her completely.She will be my slave.However, the racket and distraction that my fellow companions are creating is not conducive to this ultimate goal.She needs a slow torture both physically and mentally, which is difficult for many to understand as they do not have the patience to reap the rewards.”Snape looked disparagingly over at rest of the Death Eaters.

“How right you are Severus.I want her utterly broken.Rape her mind as well as her body, flay her sanity layer by layer.” Voldemort gave him a truly evil smile.“Go, I expect you to play roughly with your new toy.” 

Severus Snape stood and bowed again before the Dark Lord before grabbing Hermione by the hair and Apparating out. 

They landed with a thud on the floor of Spinner’s End.Snape immediately let go of Hermione’s hair, pointed his wand at her and uttered a healing spell, followed by countercurse to his initial spell. Then he threw a blanket over her, covering up her naked form before pointing his wand at the walls to reset his wards.It was more important than ever to keep any unwanted guests out.

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting from Hermione after he set her down but it wasn’t silence.She wasn’t asking him a million questions, she hadn’t attacked him.She wasn’t even crying.She just was looking at him. _Had he broken her?_ Snape turned and went to the kitchen to grab the needed potions.He always keep an emergency supply.He could have just used magic but he had to escape her prying eyes.

“What are they?”Hermione asked, her voice hoarse. 

“Healing potion, blood replenishing potion and contraceptive potion.”He replied curtly. 

Snape then effortless picked her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs to the first bedroom on the right.He didn’t know what to say so instead he just tucked her in bed.

“Are you? I mean.”Hermione trailed off in confusion.

“One can’t be out in the cold all the time; one has to come in from the cold.”

Hermione just looked bewildered in response.

“Sleep now.Our confessions can wait until morning.”Snape commanded. 

He left her alone in the bed and closed the door, setting more protection wards around her room before walking to his room.He was barely able to drag himself to his own room, so consumed with guilt and magical exhaustion.Shedding his outer robes, he cast a Tergeo over his blood splattered clothes before he collapsed on his bed.Despite his swirling emotions, he fell asleep quickly.Equally dreading and craving the morning light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Song
> 
> "Deep" by Danzig


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my updates have been so irregular. Everything has been a little bit crazy recently. I will try to do better.
> 
> "I told her I would do all I could  
> To be the man she needs  
> I told her I would do all I could  
> To fight the worst in me.
> 
> Monsters in the closet honey  
> Monsters overhead  
> Monsters lying next to me at night before I rest  
> They gonna haunt me   
> They gonna twist me into knots   
> Don't let me haunt you."
> 
> "Monsters" by brother Sundance

Hermione sat on the floor and hugged the blanket around her, thoughts spinning in her head.She had been so afraid when he approached her.Doubting herself and her secret conviction that despite everything to the contrary, Severus Snape was not the traitor he appeared to be.Her heart had dropped in her chest when he hit her and for a split second her world was in danger of collapsing.But then she felt it, a rush of magic enveloping her.His magic wrapping around her securely, like a warm fluffy blanket, keeping her safe.

She had started to scream when he roughly grabbed her but she wasn’t in any real pain.She actually didn’t know why she was screaming but she didn’t seem to have any control over it.It appeared to be part of the spell, keyed to his touch.Her terrified scream echoed briefly in her ears but the noise quickly faded and warm silence blanketed Hermione.Her vision blurred and soon the surrounding Death Eaters had been reduced to fuzzy blobs of color.Her body felt strangely disjointed and numb, as if she was floating in anesthetic.Hermione had tried to make sense of everything but at the time, her mind had been too relaxed and comfortable to care. 

However now, as she watched Snape set layer after layer of wards, her mind immediately began working through the puzzle.Whatever he had just cast on her once in the safety of his own home, seemed to have negated the previous charm she presumed he had cast on her in Voldemort’s presence.Her brain felt as if she had just taken a Pepperup potion and the sensation was slowly coming back to her body.She had to give him credit, he had managed to cast a very powerful charm nonverbally and wandlessly while he was the center of attention.The spell was very convincing and she had no doubt that the Voldemort believed she had been violently raped. 

She shifted on the floor, trying to relieve the pins and needles now creeping up her extremities as the feeling came back. Her whole body now ached.She winced in pain at the raw tenderness between her legs.Her left cheek was throbbing and her hair roots painful after being yanked about by her hair. 

Hermione waited for the shame and anger to overwhelm her but strangely enough, it didn’t come.Obviously Snape had risked his life to make the experience as painless as possible yet convincing enough to allow him to save her life.She just felt confused. _Who was this wizard?_ She was beginning to feel drowsy again and fought to keep her eyes open.She looked up at Snape as he approached her with several potions, struggling to put her thoughts into words.He gently held her head and tipped each potion in turn in her mouth. 

“What are they?”Hermione managed to ask, her voice hoarse after all the screaming. 

“Healing potion, blood replenishing potion and contraceptive potion.”He replied curtly. He then effortless picked her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs.Hermione couldn’t help but notice a wetness in his eyes though he avoided eye contact.Snape placed her silently in a large bed.Leaving her still wrapped partially in her first blanket, he tucked her in with another large comforter.

“Are you, I mean.”Hermione trailed off in confusion. 

“One can’t be out in the cold all the time; one has to come in from the cold.”

Hermione continued to look bewildered. 

“Sleep now.Our confessions can wait until morning.”Snape commanded. 

He left her alone in the bed and closed the door.Hermione could hear him murmuring more protective wards around her room as she tried desperately to fight the overwhelming fatigue and decipher this man.However, her eyelids were too heavy.A single thought flashed through her head before she surrendered to sleep.He was quoting The Spy Who Came in from the Cold.He was still a spy!He was on their side.Despite all the horrific events of today, Hermione felt a twinge of hope in her heart before she fell fast asleep. 

The morning seemed to come in a blink of an eye and Hermione awoke to the noise of water across the hall.She tensed and immediately reached for wand.Her hand came up empty.Then the events of last night came flooding back to her mind. _Shite._ She swore silently as she tried to organize her thoughts. The cryptic conversation with Professor Snape replayed in her brain.He had never betrayed them.Her heart leapt sprit at her realization. She had just been going on her gut feeling when she saved him and Hermione had spent many lonely nights berating herself for saving a traitor.However, her instincts had been right all along.She wondered what he had been doing for these long months since Voldemort had taken over. 

Her brain was still muzzy from sleep as she took in her surroundings.The bedroom was sparsely furnished with just a small chair in lieu of a nightstand and her bed.She could still hear the water running outside her room and it took her a moment before she realized it must be a shower.The thought of Professor Snape in the shower made her feel vaguely uncomfortable, as if she was eavesdropping on a personal moment.Professor Snape had always seemed larger to life to her, even in his near death.It was surprising that even after everything last night, it had taken something as simple as running water to make her so acutely aware that Severus Snape was above all just a human.

The running water stopped and was followed by the sound of drawers opening in the next room.After a few minutes, Snape’s low voice was murmuring at her door.Hermione’s skin tingled as the magical protective wards were removed.Snape opened the door slowly, almost tentatively.

“Miss Granger, are you ready for breakfast?” 

“Yes but..”She hesitated as he raised his hands indicating she should wait. 

“If you are able, can you please restrain yourself for a few more minutes and interrogate me at breakfast.I don’t know about you, but I am quite hungry.”

Hermione nodded and began to climb out of bed only to stop abruptly, realizing that she was naked.

“Sir?Do you have a robe?

Snape’s mouth furrowed.“I apologize.I forgot your state of undress.”

He waved his wand at the gray folded blanket that was sitting on a small wooden chair next to her bed.“Multicorfors Verdi.”The blanket rose up from the chair and twisted around twice before becoming a robe. 

“I will pick up more acceptable clothes after breakfast but this should do for now.”

“Wait, I’m staying here?”

Snape did not answer her question.Instead he closed the door before speaking again.“When you are ready, I will be downstairs in kitchen awaiting your barrage of questions.”

Hermione sighed. _Why couldn’t that man give her a straight answer for once?_ She slipped on her robe and headed down to the kitchen.The stairs creaked loudly and Hermione couldn’t help wonder why Snape would live in such a state of disrepair.The blue carpeting did little to hide the dirt, the white paint in the hallway had yellowed and was peeling.A large brown water stain marred the ceiling of the small kitchen.The wallpaper at one time must have been rows of red flowers but age and neglect had left yellowed strips with blurred reddish blotches that looked disturbing like blood.The house was obviously in need of repair.

Snape sat at a wooden table which like the rest of the house had seen better years.He was silently drinking his coffee. His eggs looked untouched.He gestured to the other side of the table where a plate of eggs and toast was set out for her. 

“I wasn’t sure if you would want coffee or tea but I have both.”

“Tea please.”Hermione replied.“Just a splash of milk.”

Snape got up to pour her tea, taking much longer than Hermione expected, before setting down a cup of piping hot tea. 

“Why am I here?”Hermione said suddenly immensely frustrated at the whole situation. 

Snape exhaled loudly before sitting back down, slouching slightly which made him look completely out of character.

“I don’t know.” 

Hermione looked at him incredulously before he continued. 

“This was never the plan.Voldemort was supposed to die when Harry died.Instead, Dumbledore’s whole plan went to shite, the wrong side won and I’ve been stuck in this living hell.”

“Harry was always supposed to die?”Hermione’s voice rose in anger. 

“Yes, that was Dumbledore’s bloody master plan.”Snape snapped back.“Not that he shared that little tidbit until the end.Didn’t want his puppets to have time to try to come up with another strategy that didn’t involve relying on a bunch of teenagers and then letting one die.”

Hermione was gobsmacked. Dumbledore had never planned on Harry living through the war.Her eyes swum with tears but she angrily blinked them back. 

“And where have you been?”Hermione was standing now, yelling.“Where were you when I was risking my life, fighting for what is right?” 

Snape sighed again.His dark eyes were full of shame when he finally met her gaze.

“I was so wrapped up in my own misery, my own despair that I couldn’t be bothered to give a bloody damn.I was trying my best to drink and fuck myself into oblivion.I couldn’t face the fact that I had failed, failed Lily and Harry and even Dumbledore.”His voice softer now as he continued.“I was such a bloody coward.I couldn’t face the fact that I had failed you.He paused.“After you saved a bastard like me.”

Snape’s confession shocked her to her core and Hermione just stared at him.His wet black hair clung to the side of his face.His dark brown eyes appeared almost black despite the morning light and he had faint purple shadows under his eyes.She had never seen him look so defeated.

Hermione sat back down, unsure how to proceed. She sipped her tea and waited for Snape to talk.She picked at her eggs until the silence in the kitchen seemed paradoxically loud. Finally Hermione couldn’t help but fill the muteness.

“Thank you for saving my life.”Hermione said quietly

Snape grunted in response, avoiding her eyes as he continued to drink his coffee. 

Hermione tried again.“What did you do?I mean the spell last night?

He cleared his throat before answering. 

“I cast my own specialized charm that in essence works like an anesthesia for the body and calms the brain by dulling the senses.Normally you would not remember the spell, just a blurry memory of violence but that part was negated by the second charm I cast when we returned here.”

He paused before awkwardly continuing.“It is normally necessary to leave a false memory to avoid detection.The lack of details can be easily explained by trauma. However, the false memory implanted is embedded with subliminal message that helps the victim quickly overcome the event and actually feel more confident due to their ability to move on. 

“That sounds like an incredibly difficult spell.”Hermione wasn’t sure what else to say.She was simultaneously amazed by his skill and embarrassed to think that her mind could be so easily manipulated. 

Snape picked up on her discomfort.“Nobody likes the thought that their brain got fooled but it’s no different than the trick pictures in a muggle book.I exploit the weakness to create a different reality.I wouldn’t worry about it though.The strength of Occlumency and Legilimency one must have to perform this spell means that almost no one other than me could ever do this.”

Hermione didn’t know quite what to say in response and after several more awkward moments, returned to picking at her breakfast. 

“I didn’t poison it, you know.”He said dryly. 

Hermione flushed.“I know.I just am not sure what happens next.”

Snape shrugged.“I admit that I am unprepared for this situation.I never imagined a situation where I would outlive Harry Potter.Without allies it has been difficult.It took forever to make sure the potion supply route would be damaged.”

“You are involved in the potion supply route?”

“Not exactly.I just had a vested interest in making sure I was unable to complete a certain potion.”

“What type of potion?”

“An especially evil one.”Snape replied curtly. 

Hermione glared at him.“We have to be able to trust each other if we are going to work together.You say I have to stay with you. Well, I’m not content just to survive.We have to fight.”

“Fine.”His tone was tense but after a couple of long seconds, he began to speak again. 

“Dolores Umbridge has sanctioned experiments on Muggleborns which Bellatrix has been assisting in performing.As you are familiar with these deplorable witches, I’m sure I don’t need to go into detail involving the violence they are inflicting on the Muggleborns that are able to get their hands on.” 

Hermione’s eyes widened in horror. 

“Luckily, the subjects keep dying before they are able to undergo all the planned tortures so it was requested that I brew a potion that would help sustain their misery.The only potion that meets that description takes several months to brew and requires rare ingredients.So it was necessary for me to ensure I would be unable to complete the potion. 

“How did you accomplish that?”

“Your resistance friends are hard to find though after I was finally able to locate your spies, it was a simple matter.I just impervioed two ministry employees to have a conservation about the potion supply routes and storage locations when your spies were listening.” 

“I just thought we had gotten extremely lucky when Seamus and Dean overhead that information.But how did you know they were there?”

Snape raised his eyebrow.“Their disillusionment charm needs a little work.”

Hermione rolled her eyes in response.“I told Seamus he needed more practice.”She continued to eat, digesting the information before speaking again.

“So what’s next?”

“Well, obviously you can not go back to your friends now, otherwise my cover will be blown.Though it will likely be a moot point when the Dark Lord performs Legilimency on you.I can probably buy us a little time before I have to bring you in front of him but without skilled Occlumency, our secrets will be exposed.When that time comes, I will send you back to your friends and try to take out as many Death Eaters as possible before dying.”

“I don’t think so.”Hermione said, unnerved at how calmly he was planning his own death.“I didn’t go to all the trouble to save you just to have you die in a misguided suicide attack.”

“I don’t see any other way.At least this way you can rejoin your friends and..”

“I can Occlude.”Hermione interrupted.

Snape raised his eyebrow again, this time in disbelief.“I shouldn’t be surprised that you are familiar with the concepts but even for a skilled witch like you, it is extremely difficult.”

“Try me.” 

He shrugged and reached for his wand.“Legillimens.”

An intense pressure immediately ballooned in her head but Hermione took a deep breath and concentrated on clearing her mind.The pressure died down as quickly as it arose until it was just mild dull throbbing discomfort.Hours of practice appeared to have paid off and Hermione’s thoughts all disappeared under the water of her visualized lake.It was difficult to tell how long this continued, time always blurred it these situations.Suddenly, Hermione felt Snape’s hands on her, shaking her roughly.Her conscious surfaced briefly only to be greeted by an increasing throbbing in her head so she retreated back to the calm surface under the water. 

Then the dull throbbing discomfort resolved and after several minutes, Hermione resurfaced again from her protective walls and looked around. 

Severus Snape sat staring at her, arms crossed, with an expression of begrudging respect. 

“I stand corrected.It appears you are an accomplished Occlumens.I take it you taught yourself.” 

Hermione grinned, her face beaming with pride.“Of course.Though I am not sure if my skills are a testament to my sheer determination to learn or if I have a natural ability.”

“Likely both.”Snape allowed a small smile to grace his lips. “This changes things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended song
> 
> "Monsters" by brother Sundance


End file.
